Dinner
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Callen and Deeks are secretly married and expecting a child when one of them is injured in the field throwing everything they have up in the air. Warnings inside. Part One of Deeks/Callen series.
1. Chapter 1

New story! Another request for G/Marty. I love this pairing. So damn cute! Alright, so right now their a little OC but come on it's just too cute for them not to be. Don't worry they're get back to themselves as the story goes on. I just couldn't pass the chance up. Anyway, I truly do believe that this is exactly how they would act in this situation.

Warnings: Sex, violence. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Yawning loudly Callen made his way to his front door already dreaming about climbing into bed. He and the rest of the team had the day off. Which, of course, meant that he was going to head over to Sam's and help him fix up the backyard.

It was something of a tradition for them to do. Not that the man's yard actually needed much work. It was usually just them making room for whatever plants the Hanna family had found that year that they wanted to plant.

He and Sam would spend a few hours pulling weeds and making beds for the plants and sometimes even hanging planters. While they did this Michelle and Kamran went to the store to get the plants along with everything they'd need to take care of the plants.

It was hard work, but by the time everything was where they wanted it was time for dinner. Sam would pull out the grill while Michelle set up the porch and table. Which left him and Kamran to go into the kitchen and cut up the fruits and veggies.

By the end of dinner the four of them were laughing and talking and acting as if they were a family. Something that was more than a little bittersweet to Callen when he'd think about it after he left the home.

Don't get him wrong he loved hanging out with Sam and his family. He knew that they all considered him to be part of their family as well. Hell, both Kamran and Aiden called him Uncle Callen now and he loved it. He loved them.

In the back of his mind though he knew that though this was the family he was making it wasn't he family. Sam and Michelle had built their family on their own and then brought him into it when they were paired up. He appreciated it more than anyone could ever guess.

At the same time though wanted to do that for himself. He wanted to have a reason to invite Sam over other than a game was on. He wanted to have a reason to do up his backyard or, hell, a reason to do up his house at all.

Alright, so he had a reason. He knew he had a reason to do everything it was that he wanted. There was a part of him that felt as if there was something missing still. He just had no idea how he was supposed to bring it up.

Callen shook his head hoping to knock those thoughts away. They weren't going to help him right now and if he didn't get rid of them he wasn't even going to be able to get the little sleep he normally got.

Before he could open the door to his home however he heard soft talking from inside. Instantly a content smile came to his lips. He couldn't believe how simply hearing movement and talking inside his home filled him with peace.

After almost seven months of living together it was still unbelievable to him that this was what he got to go home to. That even when he wasn't at home himself it wasn't empty anymore. He had a real home now.

Opening the door he was hit with the smell of garlic and onions. For the tiniest of moments he found himself questioning whether he had walked into the wrong house. He pushed those thoughts away as he closed the door behind him.

As he moved through the house the voice got louder. He could only hear one voice and it didn't sound as if it was replying to anyone. Of course, he was talking to himself. Shaking his head he went into the kitchen and had to stifle a laugh.

There stood his captivating husband. The smile on his lips got bigger at that. If he thought coming home to someone else was never going to get old than he didn't know what to think about being able to call someone his husband.

That was exactly what the man was though. For seven months he had had a husband. He had been a husband as well. For all the dreaming he had done as a kid he never thought that it would lead him to this.

To watching the man he loved making dinner for them awhile he talked to his dog. It was so homey and everything that he had ever wanted and thought that he wasn't good enough to have. It was right in front of him.

"Isn't talking to yourself a bad sign?" Callen teased leaning against the door way.

"I'm not talking to myself," Deeks replied turning to face him with a roll of his eyes, "I'm talking to Monty."

"Stimulating conversation."

"Sometimes the best one I have all day."

Snorting Callen pushed himself off of the wall and made his way closer to his husband. The ocean blue eyes sparkled with mischief as he turned back to the stove and stirred whatever it was he was making.

Licking his lips the older man walked up behind the man he loved and wrapped his arms around his waist. Simply being able to hold the other man like this was more than he ever could have dreamed of.

Callen rested his head on Deeks back letting himself soak in the warmth of the man. He always seemed to run a few degrees warmer than everything else. He had actually began to jokingly call him 'Sunshine' because of it. It was actually the first nickname that he had come up with for the man.

In his chest the agent could feel his heart skip a beat as he thought about everything he had with the other man. A part of him was still convinced that Deeks was a committed spy that was sent after him for some reason.

It was stupid and he knew that, but he couldn't help himself. Things like this didn't happen to people like him. He was the type of person that faded out in the world without anyone even knowing he was there.

At least that's what he had always thought. Then he joined NCIS and it was as if everything began to slowly fall into place. Not everything, of course, but enough that he didn't feel as if he had to walkaway when it got to be too much.

Not to say that he didn't want to leave sometimes. He loved NCIS and Deeks with all of his heart. He truly did. Having a team and a husband though was so far out of his comfort zone that it wasn't even funny.

He was lucky when it came to the younger man. Not only did he understand where Callen was coming from he had the same feelings sometimes. The only difference was that he had learned not to give into them no matter what.

With all the ups and downs their relationship had it was nice knowing that even if he did trip up that he wasn't going to leave. He wasn't going to let him off easy either, but Callen wouldn't have it any other way.

"What are you thinking about, G?" Deeks questioned putting the spatula down and turning in his arms.

"You," Callen whispered threading his fingers through the blond hair and pulling him down.

The kiss was barely more than a peck, but was perfect. It felt like home and love. Callen knew that he was getting soppy each day he was with Deeks, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was happy. For the first time in his life he was truly happy.

"Dinner will be ready in a few," Deeks stated after breaking the kiss, "Why don't you go take a shower?"

"Are you saying I smell?" Callen cocked an eyebrow running his hand over his lovers back.

"Oh no. How did you crack my secret code?"

Shaking his head Callen kissed the man once more before pulling away fully and starting towards the bathroom. He couldn't help but look around his house as he went taking in everything that had changed since Deeks moved in.

It wasn't until a week before their wedding that the younger man had made the move into his home. In a fit of stupidity, as Callen liked to think, he had wanted a way out even after he asked the man to marry him.

He had been so sure that it was all some sick joke that was being played on him. Being this happy and content with the world wasn't right. He had to be ready for all of it to come crashing down around him.

Walking into the bathroom he closed the door behind him and started to pull off his clothes as his mind raced. It was doubtful that he was ever going to believe that it was all going to last, but he was going to enjoy it while he had it.

As soon as he thought that his mind questioned whether or not he really had it. They might be married, but it wasn't as if anyone on their team knew about it. Well, outside of Hetty. They weren't stupid enough to hid something this big from her.

They had made the decision not to tell anyone though. The last thing they needed was for people to question whether they could still do their job or if Deeks needed to be sent back to LAPD full time.

So, Hetty and Vance knew about their relationship. Hell, Hetty had actually been the one to officiate it while Vance acted as a witness. Sometimes Callen wondered if there was anything that the woman wasn't capable to doing.

Either way he was simply glad that the two of them knew that anything that was happening between the men wasn't going to interfere with their work. They were professional and nothing was going to change that. It did help that they weren't paired on missions.

Which made Callen remember that they had a team that they were lying to. Seven months married was something that you told the people in your life. Especially when you thought of those people as family.

It was easier to not tell though. They knew what they were doing and nothing had really changed between any of them. The team had a good dynamic going on and neither of them wanted to change that just yet.

Shaking his head Callen made sure the clothes were in the hamper, Deeks was surprisingly a bit of a clean freak, before he turned on the shower and climbed in. The hot water washed over his sore body drawing a sigh from him.

For a moment he simply stood there letting the water drench him. It wasn't as if he had any place else that he had to be. Unless the two of them got called out for a case than he was home. He was home.

Once he felt his muscles start to relax he reached out to grab his body wash only to have his hand run into something else. Looking down he saw Deeks shampoo. It wasn't much, but the reminder that he wasn't alone anymore made him smile.

Maybe he was stupid for thinking it, but he never wanted that feeling to go away. That wonder and love he felt every single time he thought about his husband was the best feeling that he had ever had. The idea that one day it would be gone broke his heart.

Sighing he turned off the shower and grabbed a towel before going into their bedroom. The bed looked so inviting and all he wanted to do was fall on it and sleep. It wasn't as if he was really hungry anyway. He had eaten at Sam's.

Deeks had made dinner though. He wasn't going to blow that off. Pulling on a pair of boxers and pajama bottoms he went back into the kitchen just as the younger man was setting the plates on the table.

"We're having ice cream sundaes?" Callen questioned confused.

"Of course not," Deeks replied with a grin, "We're having them for dessert."

"Then what were you stirring?"

"Ha! Pay up, Monty. I told you he'd never realize there was nothing in the pot."

"It smells like garlic and onions."

"Yeah, from when I had dinner. Two hours ago. I'm guessing that's probably when you ate as well. Right?"

Looking over at the smug man Callen couldn't help but start laughing. He really did love when Deeks pulled one over on him like that. It made him remember exactly why he had fallen in love with him.

"Have I told you I love you, Marty?" Callen teased picking up his spoon.

"It's implied," Deeks shrugged with a smirk, "But I love you as well. Now eat your dinner before it goes warm."

With a shake of his head the older man started to dig into his ice cream as he listened to his husband tell him about the day he had. Apparently Nell had roped him and Eric into doing a little charity work with some kids.

Almost instantly he was thinking about the other man running around with small kids laughing and playing. It wasn't all that hard to imagine. Deeks got along with pretty much anyone. He was also a big kid himself.

For some reason though the image of his husband surrounded by children made his heart pick up. That was what was missing from their lives. A little child to be able to raise and be able to call their own.

"G," Deeks called resting his hand on the agents, "You okay?"

"What do you think of kids?" the older man asked before he could lose his nerve.

"I love kids. You know that. Why?"

"What do you think about us having kids?"

Ocean blue eyes went wide as the detective froze. It wasn't often that he was able to make his husband stop moving, but he couldn't celebrate his victory when his heart plummeting into his stomach.

"Marty..." Callen tried to start only for the other man to raise his hand.

"You want to have kids," Deeks whispered his eyes moving to look at everything but Callen, "You want to have kids with me."

"It was just a..."

"Don't. Don't you dare take that back, G Callen. I don't think I could handle it if you did."

Callen's eyes darted over his lover's face for a moment before the words sunk in. An ear splitting came to the agents lips as he moved out of his chair and gathered Deeks into his arms crushing him into a hug.

"I love you, Marty," Callen muttered into the man's ear, "I love you so much."


	2. Chapter 2

New story! Another request for G/Marty. I love this pairing. So damn cute! Alright, so right now their a little OC but come on it's just too cute for them not to be. Don't worry they're get back to themselves as the story goes on. I just couldn't pass the chance up. Anyway, I truly do believe that this is exactly how they would act in this situation.

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Dropping down onto the beach Deeks let the warmth of the sun wash over him. He loved getting up early in the morning and going out to suck up some rays. It was something that he had been doing since he was a child.

Some of his fondest memories were coming here with his mother. They'd play in the ocean for a bit acting out different things that they could imagine. They'd lay in the sand watching the surfers or birds or whatever caught their eye that day.

His favorite part though was when they went for walks. Spending hours walking along the water as she told him story after story of her childhood and the grandparents that were long dead before he was born.

It was the only peaceful time that he got when he was a child. All the yelling and cursing that constantly shook the walls. All the broken plates and glasses that littered the floor. The house was a nightmare.

The beach though. It was heavenly. They didn't get to go all that often if he was truthful with himself. Maybe once every six or seven months. Even then it didn't last long. They only had the time when he was out drinking or already passed out drunk.

Whenever it got too bad he'd daydream of the next time they'd get to go because he knew they would. It was a promise that his mother made to him when she was cleaning up whatever it was his father had broken that day. Whether it was another plate or one of them.

She never broke a promise either. From new clothes and toys to birthday cakes to everything else. If she said that she promised he would get it than that was exactly what was going to happen. He never doubted her.

Blinking a few times he pushed away the tears that had begun to gather in his eyes. He had spent so long crying over the past, over what his father took from him, but not anymore. He was done crying. That was the last thing that his mother would have wanted.

Sitting up he scanned over the area. It was a school day, but he could still see some parents and children running around without a care in the world. The sight brought a smile to his lips as well as made his heart clench angrily.

The happiness was something he always felt. He loved seeing families out and about with smiles on their faces loving life. It made him proud to be one of the people that was working behind the scenes to make sure that the bad guys didn't try to destroy it.

The rest of it though... That was something new. It had been almost two weeks since Callen had brought up the fact that he wanted to bring kids into their family. Something that Deeks was totally on board with. Mostly on board with.

Okay, he wasn't fully convinced it was a good idea. Don't get him wrong he loved kids. He volunteered at different shelters so he knew pretty well how to take care of them. From little babies to teenagers. He knew how to take care of them.

He wasn't afraid that he'd fail at taking care of a child. That part he already knew. It was the idea that a child was going to be in his care. He would be somebody's father. A baby would be relying on him. It sounded wrong no matter how many times he said it.

Maybe it was stupid of him, but he had always told himself that he would never be a father. It was too much of a risk to him. While he might not act like his father there was a chance that something would change in him.

From all the stories that his mother used to tell him the man she had fallen for was nothing like the monster he knew. He had been funny and kind and everything that Deeks would never describe him as. He was just like him.

That terrified him more and more each day. There had been no warning with his old man. He had just started drinking and abusing them. If he was just like his father how long would it be until he did that too?

To him it was a risk simply being married to Callen. No matter how much he loved the older man he was scared every day he woke up in his arms. That that would be the day that he finally broke and turned abusive.

He knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he hurt the man he loved. Callen was strong though. He'd get maybe one hit in before he'd be thrown out the door on his ass or locked away in a prison no one had ever heard of.

Add a baby to the mix and he had no idea what would happen. That was a lie. He knew exactly what would happen. He'd be in prison for child abuse and everyone knew that child abusers didn't last long in prison.

Callen wanted to have a child though. He could see it whenever they were out and the man saw a baby. He'd look at it like it was the most precious thing on the planet. He was more than ready to be a father and he'd be an amazing one too.

He might not be the most open person, but he was warm and kind with a smile that always calmed the younger man down. He was protective and strong. The man was everything that a child could ever want in a father.

Then there was the fact that he'd finally have a family to call his own. Something he knew that Callen wanted more than anything. They might be married, but he wasn't related to the man by blood. He needed that in his life.

"You're thinking too hard, Sunshine," his husband spoke softly walking up behind him.

"G?" Deeks questioned moving so he was on his feet, "What are you doing here?"

"Can't I come see my husband without an ulterior motive?"

Shaking his head in amusement the detective bent down and pressed a loving kiss to the man's lips. He always felt so at peace whenever the other man was around. It was like the world to suddenly stop spinning and everything would be fine.

"You hate the beach," Deeks countered with a smirk.

"I don't hate the beach," Callen shrugged looking out at the waves, "I'm just not really a beach type of guy."

"No, more of a homebody."

Callen rolled his eyes at the words. He looked like he was going to continue their banter when he reached up and forced Deeks to look at him. His thumb gently caressed his cheekbone as worry filled the sky blue eyes.

"What's going on in that head of yours, Marty?" Callen asked his voice so tender that he had to pull away from him.

He hated himself whenever he had to do that. He wanted to be fully open with his husband. That was what they were supposed to do. Right? It all just got to be too much sometimes and he had to stop and let his mind catch up.

"I'm sorry," Deeks shook his head staring at the ground hating himself, "I'm fine, G. I am."

"Don't lie to me," Callen forcefully replied, "Tell me what's going on."

"It's stupid."

"Not if it's making you act like this. Talk to me."

Ocean blue eyes looked skyward not knowing what he should do. He wanted so badly to be able to explain what he was feeling to the older man, but he hadn't talked about it before. It was something that he dealt with alone.

It felt so weird to think that. Ever since they had gotten together he had been pushing Callen into opening up to him. He had wanted to know everything that there was to know about the man that he had fallen in love with.

Sometimes that pushing lead to fights. Either simply because he pushed too hard too quickly or because it was a subject that the man didn't want to talk about just yet. It had never occurred to him that he was doing the same thing.

As he opened his mouth to answer his husband a baby gave a cry behind him. Without even realizing it he tensed up at the noise. Not in the normal 'must help crying baby' way either and Callen could see that.

"You don't want kids," Callen stated staring at him.

"G, I..." Deeks tried to start only to have the older man shake his head.

"You said you wanted to have kids. You're helping research the best way for us to have them."

"I am."

"Then what was that about?"

Deeks opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to find the right words to tell the man he loved what he was thinking. He could see the mounting disappointment in the sky blue eyes those and he hated him for it.

After a moment for him not saying anything the older man started to turn away and make his way back up the beach. Feeling his heart begin to break at the sight he ran forward wrapping his hand around Callen's.

"Don't," Deeks pleaded holding on tightly, "Please don't walk away from me."

"Then tell me what's going on," Callen demanded not turning to look at him, "Why did you lie about wanting kids?"

"I didn't lie. Not fully. I love kids, G. You know that."

"I also thought you wouldn't lie to me. I've been wrong so far."

"Stop. If I'm going to say this don't interrupt me."

Slowly the older man turned away so he was facing Deeks. He crossed his arms over his chest and stood there silently. Taking a deep breath Deeks nodded his head trying to gather the words that he wanted to say.

"I know that you had your fair share of bad houses when you were in foster care," Deeks started his voice softer than he'd like, "That you were abused in some of them. I know that you understand where I'm coming from when I talk about my parents. But you and I differ in a way that I'm not sure you'll fully understand.

The people that hurt you weren't related to you. There were no ties. You never had to wonder if you'd grow up to be like them. I did. Every time my dad hit me or my mom. Every time I heard him scream how much he hated us or how he wished we were dead. I think about how I could be like him every second of every day.

I promised myself that I'd do everything to make sure that I was never like that man. Yet I think back on what I know about him and I am him. I'm exactly the man that my mom told me he used to be like before… Before I was born. If I'm my dad now, G, what do you think I'm going to be like when we have kids?

I want kids, G. I do. I want to watch our family expand and I want to watch them grow up into their own little people. I want to watch you be an amazing father because I know you will be. But for every dream I have of us being a happy family I have five more about me turning into a drunken, abusive bastard. I can't be that. I can't let myself become that."

By the time Deeks was done talking he had tears streaming down his face while his body shook his excess emotions. All he wanted to do was either fall into his husbands arms or take off running down the beach.

Luckily the older man took that decision away from him and wrapped him in a tight hug. Burying his face in the man's chest they stood there attempting to calm down and get back in control of their emotions.

"You are the best man I know, Marty," Callen whispered his voice unwaveringly strong, "You would never raise a hand to a child."

"My dad..." Deeks tried to say.

"No, you're not the man that he was. He was, in your words, a drunken, abusive bastard. You know that. You know the signs of becoming that. And I know how strong you are. You'd never let yourself become that."

"I'm scared."

"I know you are, Sunshine. I am too. That's why we have each other. To help us when we're scared. You say I'm going to be an amazing father. So are you. You'll be everything that I can't be and I'll be everything you can't be. It's partnership. One I know we can do."

Swallowing roughly Deeks pulled away from the hug and stared into the older man's eyes. He looked so convinced in his words. He really did believe that they could do this. That they could become parents.

"Okay," Deeks nodded his head, "Okay."

"Okay?" Callen asked slowly.

"I'm scared out of my mind, G, but, okay. Let's do this. Let's start a family."


	3. Chapter 3

New story! Another request for G/Marty.

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Dropping another files down Callen pushed away his desk in tired disgust. His head was pounding as if a twenty piece orchestra was marching through it. Somehow he still wanted to bash his head into the wall.

Moving his mouse he looked at the open document on his compute screen. He had read it more times than he could count. Hell, he had read it to the point that he was seeing the words whenever he closed his eyes. And they brought nothing but sadness.

His frustration hit its apex as he forcefully shut the computer down. He didn't want to think about it anymore. Just one moment where his thoughts weren't plagued by it. Was that really too much to ask for?

The sun had long since gone down and with it the team had all gone home. Something that he was supposed to have done as well. Instead he was sitting at his desk alone and miserable. Not the best plan he's ever had.

He knew that he should send a message to Deeks telling him that everything was fine, but he didn't reach for his phone. There was a part of him that was just too tired to deal with anything that came with his world right now.

It wasn't fair to his husband to ignore him like that. It, sadly, was also not the first time he'd ever done that. He was lucky that Deeks was the man that he was. If it was anyone else he doubted they would have made it as far as they had.

Right now though that was part of the problem. They were finally on the same page when it came to starting a family and it seemed as if the world was doing everything possible to put up roadblocks.

Okay, so maybe not the world. Maybe it was just him. He wanted everything to be perfect though. Which started with deciding exactly how they were going to start said family. Whether it be adoption or surrogacy.

It was a big decision. One that the two men had spent most of their free time talking about. Sometimes even fighting about. Callen still couldn't figure out how the fights started, but he knew that none of them were for a good reason.

They were both so frustrated by the whole situation. It sounded stupid when he thought about it. This was supposed to be a happy decision. One that brought closer. Instead it was as if it was tearing them down.

Callen had no idea what the was supposed to think about it all. He had thought that they were ready to start a family, but maybe he was wrong. They had only been married for seven months. It wasn't all that long.

He couldn't in good conscious bring a child into a situation like they were in. Something that he knew Deeks agreed with 100%. He had no idea what he was supposed to do anymore. He had no idea how to fix it.

Still, day in and day out he found himself pouring over the information that they had gathered with no end in sight. After weeks of looking at everything shouldn't they be a little closer to deciding on what they were going to do?

He had thought it would be an easy decision. That they would go to the adoption agency and fill out the correct paperwork. It would take a long time, but after that they would be able to go and pick up their son or daughter.

Deeks had other plans though. He had brought up surrogacy. Something that Callen truthfully hadn't even thought about. He didn't know why that option wasn't on his mind, but it didn't matter to him how they started their family as long as it did start. Everything should have been easy.

He pointed out that he didn't how they did it to his husband. Which was apparently the wrong thing to do. It seemed that the younger man had something going on in his head that he wasn't going to share anytime soon.

If he didn't love the man he'd hate him. He always had some plan, but he never actually shared what it was. It was as if he was expecting Callen to figure out what he was thinking. It was so disheartening.

The worst part though when whenever Deeks got like this he had a good reason for it and in the end he was right. It just took Callen so long to figure out what it was that he was missing from the situation.

What did it matter if they went with surrogacy over adoption? That part didn't matter to him. All he wanted to do was start a family. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he had not expected it to be this hard either.

With of a shake of his head the agent turned his computer back on and opened the document. It was all the information that Deeks had sent him about how the surrogacy program worked and what they had to do.

Reading over it once more he tried to figure out what it was that his husband was seeing that he wasn't. There had to be some hint about it. What was he missing and why was it so damn important to the younger man?

"Still here, Mr. Callen?" Hetty questioned walking into the bullpen, "I thought you had stopped spending the night here awhile back."

"I had," Callen agreed before shaking his head, "I mean, I have. I just got lost in thought I guess."

"What exactly is it you're thinking about?"

The agent opened his mouth to answer her only to snap it shut a second later and look around the space. He didn't want it to get out what he and Deeks were thinking of doing. Not yet. Once he saw no one was listening in he turned back to his boss.

"Marty and I are thinking of starting a family," Callen offered up slowly.

As soon as he said the words out loud he found himself grinning like a madman. It was one thing to say it to his husband. It was another to say it to someone else. It made the whole situation seem so much more real.

They were thinking of starting a family. Of having a baby. This was his life. He was married to the man of his dreams and they were going to be starting a family. How had he gotten so lucky to have this happen to him?

"That's wonderful news, Mr. Callen," Hetty congratulated him with a caring smile before her eyebrows furled in concern, "What seems to be the problem then?"

"I don't know," Callen answered almost throwing his hands into the air, "Marty is holding something back and he's expecting me to figure it out. What am I supposed to be figuring out on my own? We should be doing this together."

"You asked him what he's thinking?"

"Of course, he just shakes his head and we get in another fight."

"What are you fighting about?"

"Whether or not to go through adoption or surrogacy. I don't care either way I really don't. He does though. He wants to do the surrogacy and when I asked him why he got this weird look in his eyes. I've been trying to figure out what he's thinking since, but I have nothing."

A soft noise fell from the woman's lips before she turned and walked away without looking back. He hated when she did that. Feeling more than a little confused he stood up and followed her into her office.

Taking a seat he watched as she went through her desk looking for something. It took a moment, but soon she was handing him a photo album that he knew contained pictures of the kids that Hetty had cared for over the years.

It wasn't the first time that he had looked through it. He knew that the older woman cared for everyone deeply, but there were points in time when it was nice to look at the evidence of that for himself.

"You know what I'm missing," Callen stated going through the pictures with a ghost of a smile.

"I do," Hetty answered taking a seat next to him, "So do you."

"I really don't."

"Of course you do. All you have to do is look."

"At your kids?"

"Exactly. Have a good night, Mr. Callen. And please, go home."

Knowing that that was all he was going to get out of the woman he continued to flip through all the pages as she packed her things and left. There were so many pictures of so many kids that he couldn't help but smile.

He knew why Hetty had chosen not to have a family and he couldn't blame her. What they did was dangerous. It was always a risk to bring anyone, young or old, into your life when you were an agent. Undercover or not.

It was one of the reasons why he had given into his feelings for Deeks. He had someone that would understand if he disappeared without a word or would stay by him the next time he ended up in the hospital.

As he looked down at the photos of the children he couldn't help but have his mind wonder to his own family. Not just the one that he had with Deeks, but the one that he had missed out on having when he was this young.

He wondered how much his life would have changed if he hadn't been abandoned. If he would have any siblings or cousins to grow up with. He wondered if he looked more like his mother or his father. He wondered who he'd be.

Staring down at the photo of a little blonde haired girl he couldn't help but picture what it would be like if he had a daughter. If she would grow up to be like him or like Deeks. If she would look like…

Eyes going wide he quickly closed the album and started out of the mission. He had finally figured out what it was that his husband had been trying to get him to see and he wanted to smack himself for being so stupid.

It seemed to take longer than normal before he was home. Once he got there though he saw that the tv was still on and flickering through the front window. Deeks had stayed up waiting for him to get home from work.

Or he tried to. Walking through the house and into the living room he saw the younger man fast asleep on the couch Monty curled up next to him. Smiling at the sight he made his way over and brushed the blond hair for his husbands face.

"W-What?" Deeks woke with a start, "G? Finally home?"

"Yeah," Callen answered kneeling in front of the man, "Sorry it took me so long. I was thinking and talking to Hetty."

"About what? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. She made me see what I had been missing."

"And what's that?"

"That you want to go through surrogacy so I can have a family. A blood family."

A tired smile came to Deeks lips at that. Slowly moving so he was on his feet he cupped the back of Callen's head and pulled him forward so their foreheads were pressed together. For a moment they simply stood there taking each other in.

"I wanted to tell you," Deeks said softly, "But I needed you to figure it out on your own."

"I know," Callen smiled before pressing a sweet kiss to the other man's lips, "I get it and… Thank you, Sunshine. For giving me a family."


	4. Chapter 4

New story! Another request for G/Marty.

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Yawning loudly Deeks fell face first onto the bed dramatically causing his husband to snort in amusement. It was almost midnight and as he pulled his pillow under his head he already felt himself starting to fall asleep.

They had been working their asses off for weeks with barely any time to breath between chasing someone somewhere. All he wanted to do was curl up next to Callen and drop into a small coma. It wasn't that much to ask for.

At least that's what he was hoping for. Which had actually been a hope for almost the entire time that they had been working. Every time the team sat down to relax and try to regroup though something was thrown in their faces.

He and Kensi were running around not only most of California trying to figure out what the hell was going on, but Arizona and parts of Mexico as well. While they did that Sam and Callen were off to the Middle East track down leads of their own.

The cases that they worked weren't always the easiest. He was okay with that. Hell, he loved the fact that they always seemed to push him to be a better agent than he had been before. This one was just ridiculous though.

Ever since he started working with NCIS the cases had gotten shorter even if they were harder. That was just what happened when there was more than one person working on a case. He actually really liked it that way.

For so long he had been used to only having himself to rely on. Even if he was given a partner he never fully trusted them and they didn't trust him. They weren't going to be partnered long so there was no point in trying to build that relationship up.

With NCIS it was different. He wasn't be passed around from one detective to another or completely abandoned with no one. No matter what case he was working on he was always going to be working with the same core people.

That had been something to get used to. With Kensi and Eric it was fairly easy. He and Kensi were always together so they got to know each other pretty well fairly quickly. He and Eric were just really similar in their likes and dislikes.

It was Sam and Callen that he had always wondered about. The two older men were not like him at all. The first time he had really met them and not the cover story he had thought that Hetty was joking about bringing him in. There was no way they'd get along.

Sam was by the book. He had so many rules that his rules had rules and he expected you to follow the exact same rules without even telling you what they were. Disciplined to an extreme that Deeks would never be.

Callen, on the other hand, was just… There was no real way to describe the man. It was like he was everything and nothing at the same time. He didn't know himself therefore no one was ever going to know him.

The detective had no idea what the was supposed to make of them and every time he tried to get close to them they'd shove him out. It was not the best way to start a team, but it was too much of an opportunity to pass up. Even if he did think Hetty would let him say no.

So that was what he had for the longest time. A team where half were his friends and half pretty much hated everything that had to do with him. It was always nice to have that reminder when people were shooting at you.

Things hadn't really changed with Sam. He didn't think they ever would though. They were friendly enough and had each other back. No real fighting or hostility so he didn't really think about it all that much.

Callen, once again, had to be different. Their relationship was the one that had changed the most over time. He didn't really remember when things had changed between them, but he was more than happy for the change.

He could still remember the first time they kissed. The team had been working a case… Okay, Callen, Sam, and Deeks had been working a case since Kensi was so sick that Hetty threatened to drag her kicking and screaming to the E.R. if she showed up at work.

Sam had been able to go undercover by himself and proved some much needed distraction while Deeks and Callen went in together. It should have been an easy in and out. When had things ever gone easy for them though?

Before any of them knew it they were being shot at and had to scramble or die. He had been able to get away with a broken wrist and slight concussion after he took a nasty tumble down the side of a hill tackling a suspect that was trying to shoot at Callen's back.

That all lead to a hospital visit of his own. He had just been discharged and instructed to take it easy when Callen showed up offering him a ride home. It was an offer that he was just too tired to try to refuse.

The drive to his place had been quiet enough that he had fallen asleep. Which, embarrassingly enough, lead to the older man mostly carrying him into his place and helping up undress so he could go to bed. He hated pain medication sometimes.

And that should have been where it ended. It was not. When he woke up the next day and stumbled into his living room Callen had been sitting on the couch watching some telenovela with Monty. Oddly enough, that was not the strangest thing he had ever seen.

He had wanted to question what was going on, but instead he sat next to the man. They ended up sitting there for hours watching horrible daytime television and not talking. Deeks had never felt so relaxed in his life.

Then the older man stood up and went to grab his jacket. Deeks opened his mouth to say something only to have Callen bend down and press a gentle kiss to his lips before leaving. They hadn't looked back since.

"Have you looked at these?" Callen suddenly questioned dragging him closer to wakefulness.

"Sleeping," Deeks answered his voice muffled by the pillow.

"No, you're not."

"Could be."

He heard a soft sigh and some movement before he felt his husband pressed against him. A gentle kiss was pressed just behind his ear causing a shiver to run down his spine as he turned to face the older man.

Placing a hand on the side of Callen's face he directed him so they were kissing. After so long not being able to touch the man he was more than happy to do just that. Licking at his lips he turned to bring him closer only for him to pull away completely.

"Now that you're awake," Callen started with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Asshole," Deeks muttered before sitting up all the way, "Why do I need to be awake?"

Callen gestured to his side of the bed causing Deeks to notice the files that were displayed everywhere. He had been so tired that he hadn't even realized that the other man was doing anything but waiting for him.

"Please tell me you didn't bring home work," Deeks groaned picking up the closest file, "Haven't you had enough?"

"It's not work," Callen responded staring at the files, "These are the files from the surrogacy agency."

"Oh. Oh! No, I hadn't seen them."

Swallowing roughly he opened the file in his hands slowly. He didn't know what he was expecting, but for some reason an actual application was not it. As soon as he saw that he closed the file and put it on the bed once more.

After so long of them talking about this it really hit him. They were going to be having a baby. Somewhere in the files laying on their bed was the woman that was going to be carrying their baby. This was happening.

Without thinking Deeks hand reached out and laced with Callen's holding it tightly. In return the older man squeezed back causing him to look up. The sky blue eyes looked so hopeful and scared and he knew that was exactly what he looked like.

"Have you found anyone you like?" Deeks asked his voice barely above a whisper.

"A few," Callen nodded his head reaching out to grab another one, "I wanted to see what you thought of them."

"Alright. I can… I can do that."


	5. Chapter 5

Got a little touching in this chapter. I won't lie I had tears in my eyes while writing some of it. I hope y'all like it as well!

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Picking up his cup of coffee Callen tried to take a sip of it only to find out that it was, once again, empty. That was the forth cup he had drunken in the half hour that he had been there. Which was too much if his bouncing knee was anything to go by.

Deeks had warned him against getting to the cafe too early. That it would mess with his mind just sitting there waiting for things to happen. 'A watched pot never boils'. He couldn't help himself though.

An anxious excitement had taken residence in his mind ever since they picked the woman that was going to be carrying their child. One that the rest of the team had actually picked up on and tried to question him about.

He wasn't really happy about lying to them, but that was just the way things were. This was something that was between the two of them and he wasn't going to let anyone from the outside ruin the experience.

Not that he thought they would. He knew his team well enough to know that while they might have some questions and concerns they'd be happy for them. It would just take some time to get to that happiness.

That didn't stop a part of him from wanting to tell them what was going on. They were family and they deserved to know that there was going to be a new member. That he was finally going to have a family member.

He knew that Deeks would agree if he asked about telling them. The younger man loved them as much as he did. Anyway, it wasn't as if they would be able to keep the secret of their relationship when they had a baby together.

Still, he didn't try to bring that up with the man. Maybe he was nervous of what their reactions would be or that all of this was going to fall apart, but he couldn't tell them. A little secret that he hated keeping secret.

That was pretty much his entire life though. There were things that he was never going to be able to tell his husband, let alone anyone else. Mostly because of the career he chose to follow, but also because of who he was.

He knew that Deeks understood that and that the man had some secrets that he'd rather keep to himself as well. It might be stupid of them, but that was the way things went between them and that wasn't going to change.

The secrets didn't matter anyone. At least they didn't matter until someone started to shoot at them. Until that time came though they weren't harming anyone. Everyone had secrets. It was a part of life that they knew all too well.

Sighing the agent scrubbed a hand over his face trying to get his thoughts in order. He needed to be focused when the woman showed up. If she thought that he was too strange or too anything than she might decide not to do this.

He wished more than anything that his husband was sitting next to him talking about something that had nothing to do with the situation. He wasn't though. Kensi and he were undercover as a married couple and had been for the past week.

In the beginning of their relationship that had actually been a small issue between them. He knew that Deeks had feelings for Kensi and that Kensi felt something back. He wasn't sure what the feelings were, but he knew that there were some.

It wasn't as if the younger man was gay like Callen was. No, he was bi-sexual. If he wanted to he could easily go for Kensi anytime he wanted. She might fight against her own feelings for a bit, but she would realize how stupid she was.

They would make a cute couple and with all the time they spent having to pretend to be a couple… It wouldn't be a shock to anyone if they did decide to get together. They also wouldn't have to hide it from everyone.

All of it had lead to Callen wondering exactly what it was that Deeks was looking for in him. If the man could have Kensi then there was no reason for him to go after him. It made no sense in the man's mind.

The detective had never wavered though. Every time Callen would question what it was they were doing together he'd smile and press a kiss to his lips without ever saying a word. He wasn't sure how that worked, but it always calmed him down. He'd give anything for that right now.

The little contact that he had been able to have with the younger man recently meant that he didn't even know that this meeting was happening. Callen couldn't just reschedule it either. They had to make a good impression. Even if it was just one of them.

Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. This was what he wanted. What they both wanted. He didn't need his mind attempting to convince him of everything that could go wrong.

He should have brought Monty with him. The dog might not be Deeks, but he was the closest thing he could get right now. If only he had stopped at home before coming instead of driving straight from work.

A soft chuckle left his lips at that. He was never this scatterbrained, but it was something that he was going to have to get used to. That was the default setting of the brain when a person had children. At least that's what Michelle had always said.

Maybe he should talk to her after the meeting. She wasn't technically part of the team and he knew that if he asked it she would keep it a secret from Sam. She was the perfect person to talk everything through with while Deeks saw away.

"Excuse me," a slightly accented voice spoke from above him, "Are you G Callen?"

Looking up the agent felt as if the air had been punched out of his stomach. She was the beautiful woman he had ever seen. Long, wavy auburn hair framed her face making her blue eyes stand out against her pale skin.

With a shaky breath he offered her a smile while nodding his head. He wasn't completely sure that he was going to be able to talk right then. For the first time the fact that they were going to be having a baby was real.

He had repeated the fact that they were going to have a baby so many times in his head that it quit sounding like words. It never truly sunk in though. Looking at the woman taking a seat across from him everything seem to freeze for a moment.

As much as he hated it he began to wonder if they weren't moving too quickly. They were going to be celebrating their one year anniversary in two weeks. That wasn't all that long to be together and start a family.

If he added the fact that they were both very active police officers that were almost constantly working undercover than it was just plain stupid of them. They had no real idea what they were going to be getting themselves into.

The only real parents he was able to look towards as a guide were Sam and Michelle. They had two amazing children that they raised together. With Sam working and Michelle not. Something he knew that she disliked doing.

Would one of them be able to do that? Step away from being an undercover agent to raise their child. Walkaway from the life that he knew they both loved without one of them ending up resenting the other the baby.

All these questions began to pop into his head. There were so many things that he and Deeks had never thought to discuss that they needed to. He couldn't bring a child into a situation like this without them knowing everything.

"Mr. Callen?" the woman questioned cocking her head to the side.

"Sorry," Callen apologized before clearing his throat, "Please, call me G. You're Mara Crocker?"

"I am. Call me Mara. Are you okay? Because you looked like you were about to start running."

"I'm fine. I just got a little lost in my mind. It's nice to meet you. Though I feel like I already know you pretty well."

"Yeah. Those things are pretty through, aren't they? I guess they have to be though. You want to know everything about the woman that might be carrying your child."

"That you do."

An awkward silence fell over them that reminded Callen that his husband was the people person. He would have been able to start up a conversation with Mara instantly. It would have been as if they had been best friends for years.

"I'm sorry," Callen sighed shaking his head, "I'm not the people person in the relationship. That would be my husband."

"Oh?" Mara asked a smile coming to her lips, "Tell me about him."

Smiling back Callen did just as she said. It was easy to talk about the younger man. From the way he pretended his hair was pillow styled when it really ended up tangled beyond reason when he slept. To the way he always kept a worn copy of Dorian Gray by the bed.

There were so many small things about the man that he absolutely loved and a few that drove him insane. Things that he never would have guessed when he thought back on the Marty Deeks that he knew from work.

It was so weird to think back on their time of knowing each other before getting together. When both of them were trying to find a place where they were wanted. Sometimes it shocked him just how similar they were.

That was the main reason that he wasn't as scared to entire a real relationship with the younger man. While they didn't have the exact same upbringing they both knew the horrors that life could throw at a person.

If one of them needed some time away from everything than the other was find doing just that. They rarely pushed each other into doing something that they didn't want to do. Not to say they didn't push. They just knew when to stop.

"Well, this Marty sounds amazing," Mara grinned at him, "Where is he? Is he going to join us?"

"No," Callen shook his head, "He got called to work."

"Sounds serious. What does he do? What do you do?"

"He's a lawyer and I mostly work with my hands. A bit of wood working. And you? Your file said you had just finished college."

"Yes, I have a degree in archeology. I'm actually going to be going on a dig in Egypt after the pregnancy if everything goes to plan."

"Really? I'm sorry to ask, but you don't sound like you need money or anything like that. Why are you being a surrogate?"

A sad smile came to the young woman's lips as she reached down and picked up her purse. It took a moment for her to dig through it, but soon she was handing Callen a picture that looked like it had seen better days.

Two teenaged girls smiled happily at the camera. It was easy to see that the younger one of them was Mara. The other one though looked enough like her to be an older sister or possibly a cousin if he was pushing it.

"That's Audrey," Mara started her voice soft, "My older sister. She was everything that I ever wanted to be."

"She's beautiful," Callen responded handing the picture back.

"That she was. All she ever wanted to be was a mother. Our family actually used to joke that I was her daughter. We were only a year apart, but she acted as if I was her baby and I loved it. She got married young and pregnant not that far after to her high school sweetheart. We thought everything was good with them."

"They weren't."

"No, he was… He was beating her. I tried to get her to leave so many time, but she refused. She couldn't leave her baby with that monster and he'd come for them if she tried. We were in the process of getting the courts involved when it happened."

Reaching out Callen took the young woman's hand in his own for the first time glad that his husband wasn't there. He knew enough about this past to know that the story would strike a cord with him. It would break his heart.

"Mara," Callen tried to comfort.

"He beat them both so badly that we couldn't even identify their bodies." Mara continued tears gathering in her eyes, "Audrey died clutching her baby to her chest trying to get him to safety."

"I'm so sorry."

"She always wanted to be a mother and she was a damn good one. I, on the other hand, don't want to be one. I love kids, but I love exploring more. I love going around the world and finding something that no one knew before. I can't do that with a child. But I decided I could do one thing for her. For her memory."

"That's why you want to be a surrogate for us. To honor her."

"I do. She was my best friend, G. I loved her more than anything and that bastard stole her and her baby. I just… I want to be able to do something that she would love."

Smiling Callen stood up bringing the woman with him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Once she was able to she pulled away from him offering him a smile.

"You're going to be an amazing father, G," Mara said the happiness back in her voice, "And I'm so proud to be the person that's able to give you that."

"Thank you for doing it," G offered in return, "I have to get to work, but if you have any questions or need anything call me. Okay? You have my number right?"

"I do and I will. It was a pleasure meeting you."

"You too, Mara."


	6. Chapter 6

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Leaning against the doorway Deeks watched as his husband put away the laundry. Neither of them were really messy people, but he still found it weird whenever he saw the older man doing anything domestic around the house.

Not that Callen didn't do things. He might not be the best cook, he had more than a few unsalvageable pans to attest to that, but he didn't shy away from housework. It just amused Deeks for some reason. Especially when he cleaned when he was thinking.

The house never looked more spotless than when there was something important on the man's mind. Everything was scrubbed down, washed, and reorganized. Well, everything that wasn't inside of his head.

This was also the time that they got in most of their fights. Both of them were strong-headed people. Sometimes that got them in trouble. Other times it had them yelling about things that made sense to no one, even themselves.

It wasn't the best way to cope with their stress levels. They knew that and were working on it. That didn't meant that the first reaction the younger man had seeing his husband cleaning wasn't to go on the defense just in case.

A part of him wondered if it was too late to turn around and let the man work through whatever it was running through his head. As much as he hated to admit it there were times when that was the only solution that didn't end up with them arguing and leaving anyway.

He couldn't do that though. They were starting a family. All the little unhealthy things they used to do to get through the day had to stop. It wasn't just them they were going to be taking care of, but a defenseless child. They had to change. Wasn't that a scary thought?

Deeks liked to think of himself as a pretty flexible person. He ran with the punches and did what he could to make sure that whomever he was with ended up okay in the end. At least he used to. Until he and Callen moved in together.

He had never realized just how much he enjoyed things a certain way. Plates and bowls were on the left hand side. Glasses and mugs were on the right. Jewish Rye bread was to never enter his house under any circumstance.

They were just the things that he did without thinking. It was his house so why wouldn't things be his way? Except it wasn't his house anymore. It was him moving in with Callen into Callen's house. He had his own set of rules. That had been a fun experience to try to navigate.

It had taken them months of fighting and walking away from each other before they finally fell into a rhythm that suited them both. For awhile it had been a close call on whether either of them would be able to give a little.

This was what they wanted though and he couldn't forget that. If they just walked away once again than nothing was going to get solved. This was their life and they were adults. It was time for them to act like it before it was too late.

Still, he didn't move closer or make a noise. He was used to their way of fighting and leaving then coming back and acting as if nothing had changed. If they didn't do that than what was it they were going to do?

Buying himself some more time he let his eyes travel over the other man. He looked so tense, like he was about to snap in two, while his movements were almost violent in nature as he put the clothing away.

If they were better at controlling and dealing with their anger than he would be able to go over there and wrap his arms around his lover. He'd be able to hold him close. He'd let him know that no matter what was going on in his head everything would work out.

That was all that he wanted to do. Just hold the older man and let him know that he was there. That as long as they were together they would be able to figure out whatever it was that was coming their way.

But that wasn't them. They hid from the anger. Both of them too afraid of how they had learned to deal with anger when they grew up. Afraid that loving each other as much as much as they did wouldn't stop the violence.

He was so tired of feeling that. Of watching Callen walk out the door when they fought and wondering if he was going to come back. Of leaving himself and wondering if he was going to be able to come back. It had to stop.

With a shaky breath Deeks moved further into the room causing his husband to somehow tense even more. His head came up for a second revealing the normally sky blue eyes now looked dark and stormy with emotion. How he wished he could reach out for the other man.

Taking a seat on the bed he watched the older man in silence waiting for him to say something. When nothing came forward he sighed and shook his head not knowing how he was supposed to start the conversation without causing the man to explode.

For a moment they were caught in an almost deafening silence as Callen finished what he was doing. It looked like he wasn't going to say anything, but as soon as the closet door was closed he turned to Deeks anger and pain clear in his eyes.

"Hey, G," Deeks greeted weakly feeling more nervous than normal.

"I don't want to talk," Callen replied instantly picking up the laundry basket and leaving to put it away.

"This is going well."

Shaking his head Deeks stood up and followed his husband into the laundry room. This might be the last thing that he wanted to do, but he knew that Callen needed to talk even if he didn't want to admit it.

"What happened?" Deeks questioned watching the other man move.

"Nothing," the older man answered his voice tight.

"You only clean like this when you're pissed about something. What's wrong?"

Callen spun to glare at him and without thinking Deeks straighten his back ready to fight if he needed to. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut when he realized what he had just done. Callen was never going to hit him. Outside of when they were undercover.

"If you know me so well," Callen mocked crossing his arms over his chest, "Why don't you tell me?"

"I know you well enough to know how you act when you're upset," Deeks countered trying not to rise to the bait and start a fight, "And right now you're royally pissed off. I don't know what you're thinking though. Talk to me."

"I told you I don't want to talk."

Nodding his head he took another step forward hoping that the older man saw what he was trying to do. He needed Callen to be on the same page as him for this if they were going to last in their relationship.

A soft smile came to his lips as he reached out to take hold of his husbands hand. It wasn't much contact, but he wanted to be able to offer some comfort to the man. Even if he had no idea what was going on.

Before he could touch him though Callen pulled away. A pang of pain ripped through his heart as the man brushed past him and out of the room. He really hated whenever the agent refused to let him touch him.

It wasn't something that happened often. It usually happened after they worked on a case and he had to go undercover. There was nothing like pretending to be someone else that made you want to simply be alone for awhile.

Deeks couldn't be mad at him for that. He might be a touchy-feely person while Callen was much more picky about it. He knew that going into the relationship so it was no surprise when the man pulled away from him sometimes.

Standing alone in the room he stared at the floor wondering if he had done something without realizing it. Nothing came into mind though. For the most part they had been having a rather easy time lately.

Okay, that wasn't exactly true. They had been acting strangely lately, but he also knew where that was coming from. Hell he had been expecting the weirdness to come after Mara announced that she was pregnant with their child.

Them acting nervous and confused was just part of the deal. Anger, on the other hand, was not. It should be a happy and terrifying moment in their relationship. Not something that made him wonder if they were going to be okay.

She was only six weeks along. Her and Callen were supposed to be going in for an ultrasound tomorrow morning. Shouldn't they be excited to finally see the baby instead of whatever the hell they were doing?

With a shake of his head Deeks turned around and made his way back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. This was exactly what he had been afraid of happening. Exactly what his husband had promised would never happen.

A soft whine broke through the detective's thoughts causing him to look up. In front of him sat Monty. He looked so sad as he slowly scooted forward until he was able to reach up and lick at his owners face.

"Hey, boy," Deeks whispered reaching out to scratch the dogs head, "Fun day, huh?"

Monty whined once more trying to move closer to the man. Chuckling sadly Deeks slipped down so he was stretched out on the floor allowing the mutt to climb into his lap and act as if he was a blanket.

"I know," Deeks continued petting his friend, "Actually, I don't know. I have no idea what's going on in that man's head. I thought everything was fine. I mean, this was what we wanted right? A family of our own? Shouldn't we be happy? Shouldn't we be smiling and making people wonder what was going on with us?

"I know that this is going to be the toughest thing that either of us do and that we still have a lot to figure out, but I thought that we were ready to figure them out together. That wasn't who we are though, is it? We're fighters. In and out of the field. We fight even when there's no reason to fight. That's actually the reason I fell in love with G.

"I knew that no matter what came our way we'd be in it together. At least, I thought we would be. I never realized the downside of fighting all the time. We never stop. What are we even fighting right now? Our lives are going the exact way we want them to be. There's nothing to fight and I'm so damn tired."

"Me too," a voice came from the doorway.

Looking up Deeks saw Callen standing in the door way looking so much older than he was. The agent steadily made his way over before dropping next to him on the floor. Silently they both sat there petting Monty.

"I'm sorry, Marty," Callen finally spoke his eyes never leaving the door, "I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

"It's okay," the younger man shrugged.

"No, it's not. You don't deserve that and I shouldn't do it. My mind it just so jumbled right now that I don't know what I'm doing."

"You could talk to me. I've heard I'm a pretty good listener."

"I know and I will. Just… Give me some time? Please? I need to think."

"Alright, I can do that. I'll be here though. I'm not leaving. Let's just go to sleep. Everything better in the morning."

A dejected smile came to Callen's lips as they got to their feet causing Monty to stand up and walk away. He brushed a piece of hair from the detective's face before leaning forward and brushing their lips together.

"You sleep," Callen stated pulling away fully and taking a few steps back, "I'm not going to sleep well tonight."

"Okay," Deeks nodded his head thinking back on his husband's sleep habits in the beginning of their relationship, "I'll be here if you need me."


	7. Chapter 7

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Callen watched as the rest of his team packed up their things and left the building. They had decided halfway through the day that they were going to go get some drinks if they didn't catch a case before the end of the day.

At least, everyone else had been all for that. He had passed on it every time anyone brought it up. To say that he didn't want to be around other people was an understatement. Hell, he didn't even want to be with himself right then. And he hated himself for it.

He was pushing his team away and they all knew it. It wasn't as if that was a new thing. For as long as he had people in his life he had been pushing them away when things got to be too much. It was how he dealt with the world.

For awhile he thought that he was getting better. He still tried to deal with it alone, but when push came to shove he could have people help him. Of course they had to offer to help because he'd never ask. It was a small improvement.

Things were different now. It wasn't just his friends that he was pushing away. It was the man that he loved. The one that he swore to be with for the rest of their lives. He couldn't walk away from him whenever things got to be too much.

It was like a punch to the gut when he thought about it. Of all the flaws that he knew he had, and he had more than his fair share, this was the one that he was actually fearful would end their relationship altogether.

He couldn't pull the lone wolf crap anymore without thinking that it was going to be the reason that ended everything that he had gained. Deeks was in his life now. He couldn't let himself take that for granted.

That was exactly what he was doing though. He was acting out and ignoring and being a general dick to his husband. All because he couldn't just get his brain to shut up for five seconds and enjoy what was happening. Which is exactly what he should be doing.

Reaching into his pocket Callen pulled out the sonogram that he had gotten a few days before. It was grainy and unless you knew what you were looking for you wouldn't be able to find the baby, but it was there. A despondent smile came to his lips as he stared down at his child.

He hated himself for feeling so hopeless whenever he looked at the photo. This was the best thing that had happened to him since marrying Deeks and he couldn't bring himself to be truly happy about it.

Not to say he wasn't happy about everything that was going on. He was over the moon whenever he thought of his little baby growing in Mara's stomach. That happiness was just weighed down by everything else he was thinking.

A voice yelled at him to talk to his husband and try to figure everything out, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't ask the questions that he knew they needed to talk about before the baby was born.

It was such an odd change in his mind. He usually loved asking Deeks questions. The man had a different way of looking at the universe that fascinated the older man. He couldn't get enough of watching that mind work.

This was different though. This wasn't asking him silly questions that meant nothing. This was about their child and their future and… And Callen had no idea what the answers would be or if he could even handle the answers.

Sighing the agent ran his finger over the sonogram trying to calm his mind down. No matter how scared he was there was no way around it. He was going to have to talk to Deeks at some point in time. The sooner the better.

Even with those thoughts he made no move to get up and go home. The younger man might not be there yet, but at least when he did come up they'd be able to talk. Maybe he'd finally sleep in their bed instead of pacing around the living room.

"I was right," a voice suddenly spoke from behind him.

Spinning around he came face to face with Nell staring at him in wonder and shock. For a moment the two stared at each other in silence before the woman reached forward and tapped the sonogram with her finger.

Shutting his eyes for a moment Callen beat himself up for being stupid. He was sitting at his desk in the middle of a busy workspace of course someone saw him. He should have waited to get home to have his freak out.

A part of him wanted to deny whatever it was that the young woman thought was going on, but if there was one thing he knew it was that Nell Jones was smarter than him. She was also a hell of a lot scarier. Only being beaten out by Hetty herself.

He still thought that that was why she was there. One day the woman was going to have to retire, or more likely be killed, and when that happened he knew that the tech analyst would be the perfect person for the job.

"How far along?" she continued when he said nothing.

"Six weeks," Callen responded his voice barely over a whisper, "Seven weeks tomorrow."

"Congratulations. I think. I mean, you do want this right? It wasn't a one night stand kind of thing?"

Swallowing roughly he looked down at the sonogram once more. It hurt so much to be questioned on whether or not he wanted his child. Even worse when he realized that it was possible that Deeks was wondering the same thing about him.

It had been his idea to do this. He had sat with Deeks whenever he had doubts about his ability to be a parent and now look at him. Sitting alone staring at a sonogram questioning everything that he had thought he knew.

Why was it now that his mind was going into overtime? He should have had a plan going into the pregnancy. Instead he did the one thing that he hated more than anything. He jumped into something with both feet without looking down. Now he was feeling it.

"Callen?" Nell questioned moving slightly closer to him, "You didn't know. Did you?"

"No," Callen sighed before shaking his head, "I knew about the pregnancy. It was planned."

"Planned? You and her must be really close."

"What?"

Nell cocked her head to the side staring at the agent as if he had gone insane. Which probably wasn't all that far from the truth. He knew that nothing that he was saying was making any sense to him so, of course, it made no sense to her.

Add that to the fact that she didn't know what was going on. All she could be sure of was that he was going to be having a baby. Everything else was up in the air. Though with the way she was looking at him he knew that wasn't going to last.

"Wait," Callen started staring up at her, "How did you know something was up?"

"I saw you and her," Nell offered with a small shrug, "When you were walking out of the doctor's office?"

"I didn't see you."

"With how big you were smiling I don't think you saw much of anything. She's pretty by the way. The woman you were with."

Taking a shaky breath the older man tried to get his thoughts in order. How could he have missed seeing Nell in the doctor's office? He always made sure of his surrounding when he was out. It kept him from dying on more than one occasion.

Was this really what he was turning into? The baby wasn't even born yet and he was different. Not in a good way either. He was going to be a parent he couldn't let his skills slip. It was too damn dangerous. Not just for himself.

"I'm sorry, Nell," Callen stated dropping his head down slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nell asked with a hopeful smile.

In that moment she looked so much like Deeks that he couldn't help but turn away and let his mind wonder to the younger man. He hoped that he was wrong feeling as if everything they had was broken somehow.

"Okay," Nell said elongating the 'o' sound before pulling out a chair to Kensi's desk and sitting down, "You no longer get a choice. Talk."

"Nell..." Callen tried shaking his head.

"Not until you start making sense again."

Chuckling humorlessly he turned so he was staring at the wall. If it had been anyone else he would have simply walked away or glared until she left herself. None of that would work against the woman though. She was too smart for that.

Knowing that he finally had no choice but to talk he started to tell her everything. From the fact that he was married to Deeks to the fact that they were expecting their first child he left nothing out of the story.

Throughout it all he didn't once look away from the wall. He feared that if he looked over at her then he'd stop talking and not start again. Nell wasn't going to let him get away with only telling her half of what was going on.

When he finally did stop talking though everything was silent. Risking a look he saw that the young woman was staring at him as if he had grown a second head. That probably would have been easier to believe.

"You okay over there?" Callen questioned not hiding his amusement.

"Give me a second," Nell responded before shaking her head rapidly, "Okay, I'm good. I'm… I'm with you. Woah."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"But… Why are you hiding it? I mean, you and Deeks are going on a year of marriage. You have a child together. Shouldn't you be yelling that from the rooftops?"

"We didn't want to change the team dynamic or make anyone question our motives when we were out in the field. It made sense to us both."

"I guess that makes sense. It would be a huge shift with you and him married. Not that anyone would actually find fault in it. Even if you two did let it into the workplace. I still don't understand something."

"What?"

"Why are you here sulking instead of out with him and the team? They might not about the baby, but you should be celebrating either way."

Shaking his head he lifted the sonogram and handed it to her. Almost instantly she snatched it from his hand staring down at it with a blissful smile on her lips. She looked so happy and exactly how he should feel.

"Are you hoping for a girl or a boy?" Nell asked forgetting about her earlier question.

"I don't know," Callen shook his head leaning back in his chair, "Right now I don't know what I'm doing."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm stupid. I didn't think this through."

Brown eyes shot over to him causing him to blink a few times. For a moment he was actually a little concerned that she was going to reach out and punch him in the face. Not that he was going to blame her if she did.

"G Callen, tell me you're not regretting this baby," Nell glared at him looking every bit as fierce as he knew she was.

"No," Callen denied with a glare of his own, "I will never regret my child. I just… I didn't think things through."

"Like what?"

"Like how two undercover agents are supposed to raise a child."

Her eyes widened at that as her mouth made an o. It seemed as if he wasn't the only one that hadn't thought about the finer details of their work. Which was extremely stupid of him since he knew the troubles Sam and Michelle had had.

Michelle had been the one that left work not because Sam wasn't willing, but because she had been the one pregnant. It made sense for them. He and Deeks didn't have that. One of them was going to have to make that decision.

Callen wanted to say that it was an obvious answer, but that was a lie. They both loved their jobs and had been doing them for most of their lives. It was the only thing that either from them really knew at this point.

He didn't want to be the one to bring up the fact that one of them was going to have to stop doing what they loved. Not because he didn't think that his husband wouldn't do it, but because he knew he would do it in an instant. They both would.

"How can I ask that of him, Nell?" Callen challenged staring at her, "How do _I_ give it up?"

"You don't have to," Nell tried with a dim smile, "Not yet at least."

"Maybe not yet, but I will have to make that choice."

"Wait. Callen, please tell me you've talked to Deeks about this."

"No, I can't..."

As soon as he said that the woman was out of her seat and dragging him out of his. He opened his mouth to argue against her, but it snapped shut when the brown eyes narrowed. He wasn't going to win against whatever was going on in her head.

He watched silently as she gathered all of his things wondering what was going on. All too soon he was being pushed out of the building and towards his car. All without the tech analyst saying a single word to him.

"Go home," Nell ordered firmly.

"Nell," Callen shook his head.

"Listen to me, G Callen. You will go home and you will talk to your husband. Because, surprisingly enough, this isn't about you. It's about you and him. He gets an opinion on all of this. Now, get your head out of your ass and go home. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good. Also, keep me updated on the baby. I can't wait."


	8. Chapter 8

Finally the sex I warned you about!

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

A content sigh slipped from Deeks lips as he slowly came into wakefulness. He loved this time of the day. Blankets cocooning him in warmth while he became aware of the sunlight and bird songs coming through his window. It was perfect. Well, almost perfect.

Not wanting to deal with the rest of the world or his own thoughts right then he rolled onto his side and buried his head into the pillow. At least that was what he had been planning on doing, but instead of holding onto something soft he was cuddling something firm and all to familiar.

Pulling his head back slightly he looked up and saw that he was pressed against his husband's chest. His heart sped up at the sight of the older man finally in their bed once more after spending the last week in it alone.

It might not have been all that long that they didn't share a bed, but it hadn't been as easy as it once was. When he got used to sharing a bed he didn't know, but not having Callen there made sleep almost impossible to reach.

He knew that he had the exact same bags under his eyes that the older man had. It was not a good look on either of them and it lead to questions and strange looks from everyone on the team. Especially Kensi.

A voice reminded him that he needed to do something to apologize to the woman. It was not one of his prouder moments snapping at her like he had. He was just too tired and stressed that he couldn't stop himself.

Laying there he took a deep breath trying to knock the thoughts from his head. A peace washed over him as he took in the strong scent of explosives and rain. Something that he found some specific to Callen alone.

It was odd that that was what he smell whenever he was near his husband, but he had to admit that it went perfectly with him. One thing so subtle and peaceful while the other could, quite literally, tear everything around it down. It was appropriate.

His fingers twitched to reach up and run across the man's face, but he forced himself to stop when he took a closer look at the man. To say that he looked like death warmed over would probably be an insult to death.

Deeks knew that the man hadn't been sleeping well, or at all really and he hated that there was nothing he could do about it. At least not without starting another fight. He had to sit back and wait for Callen to come to him.

It felt horrible to watch the man he loved go through something and not be able to even offer comfort. He was as if he was back to being some guy on the team instead of being the man he had married.

That didn't matter right then though. Whatever it was that had been haunting Callen's mind he finally understood. At least understood enough to talk to him about without them getting into an argument about nothing.

Smiling slightly he buried his head in his husband's chest letting himself get lost in his warmth. They were going to be in for a long day after he woke up. It would probably be a good thing if he tried to get more sleep for that.

A part of him was glad that Hetty had decided to give the entire team the weekend off. That last thing he wanted to do was have to put their conversation on the back burner now that Callen was ready to talk.

As he laid there with his eyes closed trying to fall asleep Deeks found his mind blissfully blank. It wasn't something that happened often, but whenever it did he counted himself lucky. Over thinking always came with a price.

Sighing to himself he felt himself slowly being pulled back into sleep when he felt a strong arm wrap around his waist. His eyes fluttered open once more as he looked up and saw the sky blue eyes he loved staring down at him.

"Hey," Deeks greeted his voice barely over a whisper.

"Hey, Sunshine," Callen replied gruffly.

For awhile the two of them laid there in silence neither of them really knowing what they wanted to say. Without thinking the detective rested his head on his husband's chest and took a shaky breath trying to calm himself down.

Calloused fingers ran over the side of his face before tilting his face back up. Deeks just got a glimpse of the older man's face when dry lips were pressed against his own. Shutting his eyes he sunk into the bed letting himself be pinned to the mattress.

The hand on his face trailed down his body brushing against his arm and chest before coming to stop at his hip. A tongue licked at his lips as the agent moved over so he was kneeling above him the man's eyes darting over his face.

Deeks could see the pain and sadness in his husband's eyes as he bent down and kissed him. He wanted to break the kiss and ask him what was wrong, but feeling the desperation in it he couldn't bring himself to do so.

Gripping the back of Callen's head he held him close trying to pour the love he felt for the man into the kiss. It wasn't much, but it was all that he could do in that moment to attempt to make him feel a little better.

Letting go of his hair Deeks moved his hands down so the man until they were at the bottom of Callen's shirt. The older man pulled back helping take off his shirt before he started to pepper kisses to the detective's neck.

Sighing he laid there letting his husband tease him. All he wanted to do was grab the man and move onto something else. Callen needed this and it wasn't as if laying there letting him take care of him was any hardship.

A hand pushed his boxers down his hips before taking hold of his hard cock. Gasping he bucked into the hold wanting to feel more. Between work and Callen pulling away from him it had been too long since he had his husband's hands on him.

Biting his lower lip he tried to muffle the needy sounds he was making as he reached out to grip the covers of their bed. The hand on his cock pulled away for a moment only to cup the side of his face the thumb running over his lip.

Ocean blue eyes were blown black with lust as he stared up at the older man. His hips were bucking into the air trying to get him to direct his attention back down again. Based off the smirk on the man's lips he knew exactly what Deeks was doing.

Leaning in close Callen began to press kisses to his ear. The detective let out a choked off moan only to have his lover choose that moment to take his earlobe between his teeth and bite down on it gently.

Deeks hands flew up from the gripping to covers to hold onto the man. He loved whenever he was in a mood like this. He took his time and teased the younger man until he felt as if he was going to scream. Then the real fun started.

"Don't do that, Sunshine," Callen breathed into his ear his tongue licking at the shell of it, "Don't muffle yourself."

"G," Deeks panted nails digging into the agent's back.

"Let me hear you."

With that request the older man peppered kiss after against against his chest before coming to stop at his hard length. Whimpering when he felt the damp breath puff over him he looked down at the man just in time to watch him wrap his lips around him.

Clenching his eyes shut he bucked up slightly without thinking. A strong arm came up to pin him down as Callen took more of his cock into his mouth. His back arched off the bed his mind getting lost in what his lover was doing.

Before he could get too lost though the older man pulled away and climbed off the bed. Scrambling to his feet Deeks grabbed his husband crushing their lips together as he backed them into a wall.

"Marty," Callen gasped out his back hitting the wall, "I was… I was just taking off my pants."

Without moving away from the agent Deeks reached out and pushed the clothing item down. Once it was out of the way he took hold of Callen. A low groan left the man as he bucked into the grip his head falling back against the wall.

Before the detective could really figure out what was going on Callen flipped them so his back was against the wall. His hand fell away from the older man's length as he reached up and cupped his face pulling him into a hungry kiss.

Teeth nipped at lips as they slowly made their way back to the bed. He barely paid attention as he situated himself on top of his husband. It didn't matter as long as he could feel the man's body against his own.

Their movements were almost violent in nature as their hands roamed over their bodies. Grabbing and scratching at warm flesh they ended up rolling over so Callen was straddling him once more.

"Marty," Callen growled out putting his whole weight behind pinning the man down, "You're so hungry for it."

"Yes," Deeks agreed instantly writhing in the man's grip, "Please. Come on, G. Please."

The last of Callen's control seemed to slip away when he heard the younger man beg. Deeks watched as he reached into the drawer and pull out a bottle of lube. Licking his lips the detective lifted his knees to his chest spreading his legs wide open.

Laying there panting he watched as his lover coated his fingers before stopping to take a few calming breaths. If there was one thing he knew it was that Callen was never going to hurt him no matter how lost in lust they were.

Slowly a slicked finger reached out and circled his hole. Tossing his head to the side he panted heavily trying his hardest not to scream out his want as the finger pushed into him. It had been so long since he had felt that.

Callen's need to tease seemed to come back full force as he began to work the finger in and out of him. Whimpers fell from his lips as he tried to work his hips back on the finger only to be have an arm pin him down.

"Please," Deeks pleaded moving to stare down at his lover, "G, please."

Hungry eyes stared back up at him as a dark smirk came to the man's lips. For a moment Deeks was sure that he was going to refuse the plea when a second finger pushed in beside the first just as slow as the other.

The younger man felt himself get even more desperate as the two fingers thoroughly stretched him open. It wasn't enough to satisfy him in any way. He needed to fell his husband's cock splitting him open.

Callen seemed to sense that he was getting to the end of his rope because a third finger pushed in beside the other two. Mewling he reached out for his lover his nails scratching at his arm when he came in contact.

"Fuck me," Deeks gasped out tears of want feeling his eyes, "G, you have to… Please. Fuck me."

The fingers in him froze when he said that before being pulled out. He couldn't help but whimper at the loss of them. Then he felt something harder and larger start to press its way into his body.

Gripping the bedding once more his eyes rolled in the back of his head as the older man set a punishing pace. He could vaguely hear the bed frame slamming into the wall with each thrust of the man's hips.

After all the teasing he was too close to the edge and based off how Callen was moving he knew he was as well. Reaching down he took a hold of his cock jacking himself off until his orgasm tore through him.

Hearing a cutoff scream the detective managed to open his eyes just enough to watch as the older man went over the edge himself. Callen always looked so beautiful when he was lost in his own pleasure.

The agent pulled out of him after a moment before dropping beside him. They laid there panting for a moment not wanting to lose what they had. As their hearts calmed down and their breathing came back to them though Deeks turned to look at his husband.

"Not that I'm complaining," Deeks started his hand coming to trace a pattern in the older man's skin, "But what was that about?"

"I just realized something," Callen said offering a smile.

"What?"

Callen opened his mouth to answer a shadow of sadness falling over his eyes. With a shake of his head he reached up threading a hand through Deeks hair and pulling him down into a gentle, loving kiss.

"We'll talk later," Callen offered after a moment, "Right now I just want to be with you, Sunshine."


	9. Chapter 9

You know how it says this story will have angst? Well, it's time to start getting into that.

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Staring out the window Callen took a sip of his tea watching as the as wind pounded rain into the side of the house. A wicked storm had rolled around some time when he and Deeks were sleeping making it the perfect day to stay indoors and relax.

Which he was more than happy to do. Deeks, on the other hand, had a dog that he couldn't say no to. Even if it meant that he was going to have to go out in a thunderstorm and that was exactly what they were out doing.

Knowing that he would have two shaggy animals to deal with the agent had already set out some towels. It was brought a smile to his face when he saw just how much the two of them were alike. A match made in Heaven.

When he had first met the younger man Callen had wondered about Deeks personal life. The detective wasn't really one to talk about himself when push came to shove. It made getting to know him difficult on many counts.

Then they started to interact with LAPD more. He had learned rather quickly that the man didn't really have friends inside of the force. Not surprising when he was told that the younger man held his fellow officers to the standard they should hold themselves already.

That was something that the older man had to respect. He had a good head on his shoulders and a large heart. If he didn't believe in whatever was going on than he was going to do everything he could to stop it and get it back on the right track.

Marty Deeks was a good person through and through. He didn't care if someone stopped liking him because he did what was right. As long as in the end people were safe and protected than he felt as if he had done his job correctly.

His personal life, on the other hand, was even more of a mystery than his work life. He was like Callen in that way. If it didn't pertain to the case there was no reason to talk about it. Which was odd since he never stopped talking.

It hadn't taken him long to realize that constantly making jokes and talking about anything but what was on his mind was the man's coping mechanism. It was a little annoying, but it kept him sane and that was all any of them could ask for.

Before he could get too much further into his thoughts Callen saw two figures appear in the rain. Snorting in amusement he shook his head at the sight. He couldn't believe that those were two of the most important beings in his life.

Smiling gently to himself he took another sip of his tea not bothering to move as the pair finally walked into the house. Instantly the sounds of laughter and barking filled the empty space bringing a warmth to him that would never get old.

He had never known just how tired he was of silence until Deeks moved in. Even when he wasn't talking just hearing him breathing or moving around was enough to bring a certain peace to the agent.

Turning around slowly he took in the sight of his husband kneeling on the ground rubbing an already wet towel against Monty's fur. An almost blinding smile was on his lips as he spoke quietly to the mutt.

As much as Callen wanted to say something to the man he was too distracted by simply watching him. He might get to do it often, but he still found one of his favorite things to do was see how someone acted when they thought they were alone.

The scene in front of him made him wonder what would happen when their child was born. There were so many different everyday situations that were going to change once the baby was in their lives.

He could practically see a little boy standing next to his husband trying to dry off Monty just like his Daddy was. He'd be just as soaked as the other two were as he went on and on about whatever it was that he was seeing.

He could also see a little girl running up to him demanding to be lifted up. His shirt and pants would be soaked instantly, but feeling her pressed against him as she told him what he had missed was more than enough to warm him up.

The more he looked at his lover taking care of the mutt the more he envisioned their future. Toys all over the house just waiting to be played with. Stories about everything and nothing being told on the nightly. Laughter and tears that he could just hear in the silence.

He didn't want to miss a moment of it. Every skinned knee that needed to be kissed to feel better. Every hug for no reason other than because they could. Every fight that lead to someone storming away. Every nightmare filled night. He couldn't wait for it.

"Really, buddy?" Deeks complained as the dog shook out his fur causing water to go everywhere, "Where did you learn these things?"

"I'm going to go from his owner," Callen countered with a smirk coming out of his thoughts.

The younger man looked up his ocean blue eyes sparkling with mischief before he stood up and moved closer to the agent. He had a smirk of his own as he took the cup from his lover's hands putting it off to the side.

"Marty," Callen warned already having a good idea where this was going.

"What?" Deeks questioned innocently.

"Don't even think it."

"Think what, Dear?"

"Think of shaking that head of yours and getting water everywhere."

"G, I'm hurt. I would never do such a thing."

The older man couldn't stop himself from scoffing at that causing his husband to pout. Too busy laughing at the detective's expression Callen didn't notice him move closer once more wrapping him into a tight hug.

A cold face was buried into the side of his neck as water dripped off the wet hair onto his shirt. As he tried to get the man to let go the voice in the back of his head told him he really should have expected this.

"Marty," Callen barked out finally getting out of the man's grip.

"What?" the man asked with a shrug a teasing grin on his lips, "You said not to shake my head and get what everywhere. I didn't."

"No, you just soaked me and my clothes."

"What can I say? I guess this means we're both going to have to change."

Rolling his eyes Callen found himself being pushed back into their bedroom teeth gently scrapping against his neck. A pleased sigh fell from his lips his head moving to the side so the man had more room.

Pressed up against the wall of their room he threaded a hand through his lovers wet hair pulling him over so he could kiss him properly. With a hum of satisfaction he broke the kiss staring into the ocean blue eyes.

"You're distracting me," Callen accused with a faux-glare.

"Is that a bad thing?" Deeks offered moving to nip at his ear.

"Yes, I need to talk to you about something."

Deeks must have sensed the seriousness in his tone because he moved backwards until they weren't touching. Slightly fearful eyes roamed over the older man as he took a deep breath and nodded his head.

"Is this about why you pulled away this last week?" questioned Deeks trepidation clear in his voice.

"Yeah," Callen replied feeling fear himself, "I need to talk to you about what we're going to do after the baby is born."

"Why do I feel like you're talking about something really specific?"

"Because I am."

"G, I love you, but you're freaking me out. Just tell me what you're thinking about."

"I'm thinking… One of us is going to have to stop working undercover. We need to figure out which one of us that is."


	10. Chapter 10

You know how it says this story will have angst? Well, it's time to start getting into that.

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Drumming his nails against the dashboard Deeks stared out the window trying to focus his mind on the task at hand. He and Kensi had been sent to stakeout a restaurant that their suspect was supposedly doing business at.

He had a love/hate relationship with stakeout's. They were fun if you had the right person. For the first two or three hours at least when the conversation ran dry and legs started to twitch and bounce. Not to mention hunger setting in. After that they just got boring and tedious.

It was even worse when you had something on your mind. The endless silence and inability to escape or move around made it impossible not to think. No matter how much you didn't want to and he really didn't want to think.

Ever since his husband pointed out that they had to start seriously thinking about their careers future after the baby came he couldn't stop wondering. He knew things were going to have to change, but he hadn't thought about that change.

When he was younger he had dreamed about being everything under the sun. Some days he'd want to be a doctor while others he wanted to build houses or travel around the world taking pictures. There were so many things to choose from.

He still wasn't completely sure how he had become serious about law. Okay, so he actually knew how that part of it happened. It had been an ongoing joke between him and Ray that he was going to end up defending him in court one day.

That was part of the reason that he had ended up going to school. Not because he wanted to defend Ray, but because of all the times he watched people get accused of things they didn't do by cops that didn't give a damn.

He knew the system was broken and he wanted to fix that. At first that started with simply learning about the system. If he could prove that no law was being broken then maybe it would make the cops stop and thinking.

At the same time though it also meant that he could point out to people exactly what was going to happen if they did whatever stupid plan they were thinking of doing. That didn't earn him a lot of friends, but it kept some things from going down.

After he got his degree and started to go into courts though he realized that that wasn't what he wanted. As much as he loved defending people he wasn't the type of person to sit behind a desk all day and do paperwork.

He loved being able to really interact with whomever he was trying to help. Something that only sort of happened when you were a lawyer. Especially a young public defender that had too many things to do in one day.

So with that in mind he started to look at other things along the same vein that he could do. It wasn't difficult to find the police academy and join up. He was still protecting people so he was happy to make the change.

Somewhere in that though he forgot what had started him on this path in the first place. How some people were given power and thought that that meant they were above everyone else. How they could suddenly do no wrong.

He had been paired up with a dirty cop in the beginning and told to learn from him. Of course, by 'learn' he meant cover up for him when he came in drunk. That brief run together almost ended up in him being kicked out of the force all together.

Luckily, he had been able to make some impressions with the higher ups with how he worked cases. In the end he was partnered with someone new and was supposed to go about the rest of his career as if nothing happened.

For awhile that was exactly what he had forced himself to do. He acted as if nothing had happened, but it was eating him up that the man was still part of the force and there was nothing he could do about it without loosing his own badge.

That was when he was approached by internal affairs. They told him that they had been trying to get something on his old partner for years, but he was just too feared by the younger cops and respected by the older cops for them to get anything.

He knew that he couldn't just sit back and let the man work anymore. It had cost him the few friends he had on the force and earned him a reputation. He didn't care about that though. He knew he did the right thing and it had opened up the idea of working undercover.

It wasn't what he had thought would happen when he became a cop, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. He loved his job and he got to help protect people. After wanting to do everything he could he finally had a career that he loved.

Now he had to seriously think about leaving that job. Something that he had always thought would only happen when he died. It wasn't as if he was delusional enough to think that undercover cops stayed alive for long. No matter how good they were.

As much as he loved his job though he knew that it was nothing compared to his child. They weren't even born yet, but he would do anything for them. Even if it meant leaving the only job that made him feel as if he finally knew himself.

He knew Callen felt the same way about it all. Undercover cops were what they both were. This was the life they had chosen and it was a life that took complete control of a person and even if you walked away it never left you. He had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do.

"If you don't stop fidgeting I'm going to kill you," Kensi threatened angrily from the drivers' seat.

"What?" Deeks questioned in confusion before pulling his hand to his lap, "Oh, sorry."

"You've been acting weird since we got here. What's going on with you?"

Sighing the man looked from the restaurant to his partner watching him. A part of him wanted to tell her it was nothing, but his mind was racing so quickly that he actually found himself wanting to talk.

"What would you do if you weren't an agent?" Deeks asked looking back at their target.

"I don't know," Kensi answered slowly, "I always thought I wanted to be a bounty hunter. Why? Are you thinking of leaving us?"

"Of course you did. I don't know what I'm thinking anymore."

A hand gripped his shoulder squeezing slightly bringing a smile to his lips. He might not always feel like he was being taken seriously by his team, but he knew that if he needed anything they'd be there for him.

"We're going to be here for awhile," Kensi offered with a shrug, "Want to talk about it?"

"I'm just thinking about the future," Deeks tried to explain without giving anything away, "Can I really have a life if I'm always pretending to be someone else?"

"You want to settle down."

"Yeah, sometimes. I just don't know if I can give this up. I love my job and I love knowing that I'm helping people."

"You don't have to be a cop to help people."

"I know, but this is what I'm good at. I don't know if I could do anything else."

The pair fell into silence after that. Deeks didn't know if there was really anything else they could say. It wasn't as if he was able to give the woman the full story. At least not without talking to his husband first. If Kensi knew then they'd have to tell everyone.

Maybe it was time for them to tell everyone what was going on. They had been married for a year now and they had a baby on the way. There wasn't really a reason for them to continue to hide their relationship.

"Deeks, if you..." Kensi started before her eyes narrowed, "Do you see that?"

Focusing all his attention on the restaurant the detective sucked in a breath seeing what she meant. Their suspect had finally come around and it was clear that something had gone wrong in his organization.

"There's too many people around," Deeks stated as Kensi told Eric what was going on, "We can't wait for backup."

"We might push him into doing something if he sees us," Kensi replied though she was ready to move herself.

Waiting impatiently for a few moments Deeks looked over at his partner and getting a nod in return. They both climbed out of the car starting towards the building. They only got a few steps before they heard a scream from inside as people ran out of the building.

Taking off running they pulled their guns and started to help the people trying to run away. Hearing another scream the detective looked through the window and saw a woman trying to get her two children out.

Seeing that she couldn't do it on her own he put his gun away and rushed inside. He picked one of them up and started to rush them out. That was when he saw what it was that everyone had been screaming at. The man cursed to himself seeing a bomb on the table.

Even as he ran he knew that there wasn't enough time to get the child in his arms far enough away. Dropping down he curled his body over the child using his hands to cover the boy's ears just as the explosives went off.


	11. Chapter 11

You know how it says this story will have angst? Well, it's time to start getting into that.

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Jerking awake Callen reached for his gun his eyes darting around the room. His heart was racing as he tried to find whatever it was that forced him out of his half dozed state. Nothing had changed since the last time he did that. Two minutes ago.

With a sigh he dropped back into his chair running a shaking hand over his head. At least he thought it was his hand that was shaking. After everything that had happened he wasn't sure about anything anymore.

The silence in the room was almost deafening as he replayed the last two weeks over and over in his mind. He still couldn't believe it even though the evidence was laying in a bed no more than a foot away from him.

As soon as Hetty had pulled him into an empty Ops lab he had known something was wrong. He had never seen her look so stoic. His heart had dropped to his stomach as soon as he saw that and it felt even heavier than it had before.

Her simply saying the words 'Mr. Callen' had made him want to walk out of the room and never go back. There was just something about the way it was said that let him know everything he needed to know.

Then she continued. He wanted to scream and lash out at the older woman for what she was saying, but every word seemed to have a draining affect. Before she could even finish telling him what had happened he was sitting on the floor leaning against the table in the middle of the room.

For a moment it had truly felt as if his heart had stopped beating. He had known that it would hurt if he ever lost his husband, for any reason, but he hadn't expected for the world to suddenly feel like nothingness.

A crushing sadness warred with a numbness that he had never wanted to feel as he sat there not hearing anything else the woman was saying. The man he loved was gone. There was nothing that anyone could say to make it better.

Except he wasn't gone. At least not yet. It took longer than he liked to admit for her to get that through the fog in his mind, but as soon as it was he had taken off running. He had to get to the hospital as soon as he could.

He had gotten as far as the bullpen before he ran into despondent Sam. The older man looked upset about the news, of course. It was one of their own and whenever any of them got injured it took a tole on all of them.

He had opened his mouth to say something, but as he got a good look at his partner his mouth shut. All the time they spent keeping their relationship a secret didn't matter. Anyone that looked at Callen in that moment would know everything that he felt for his husband.

The younger man knew that his partner had a million and one questions about them, but instead of asking any of them he simply nodded his head and started towards the car. Nothing mattered in that moment but getting his partner to the hospital.

The drive had been made in a heavy silence. Even if Sam had something to say Callen wasn't going to hear it. His mind was too focused on getting to the hospital and getting to see the man he loved. Something that was easier said than done.

By the time they had gotten there Deeks had already been taken into the operating room. Which left Sam and Kensi trying to hold him back while he lost his mind at one of the nurses demanding answers.

After waiting almost eight hours for someone to come and tell them something they finally got some news. Of course, by news he meant that while Deeks wasn't dead he wasn't out of the woods either.

Which brought him to where he was now. Sitting beside his husbands bed listening to the heart monitor and trying to ignore the fact that the man looked as if he wasn't going to make it through the night even after two weeks in the hospital.

Tears prickled at his already swollen red eyes at that thought. He didn't think that he had cried so much in all his life. Hell, he didn't even know that he could cry so much. He could have gone a lifetime without knowing that information.

As much as he hated to seem weak he hadn't been able to stop himself. This was the man that meant more to him than anyone else. The man that had forcefully pulled him out from behind the walls that he had built to keep him safe.

He had thought that he had been through the worst things life could throw at him. He had never imagined this. In truth he still wasn't positive that this wasn't some nightmare that he just couldn't wake up from.

Taking a deep breath the agent looked over at Deeks feeling a tear slide down his face. The younger man looked nothing like the happy-go-lucky man that he had fallen in love with all those years ago.

The shaggy blond hair that was always soft whenever he played with it had been shaved to get at the wounds to his head. Wounds that the doctors had no idea about. They could do nothing or they could… Callen didn't want to think about that option.

He had been rolled onto his side so not to harm the burns and cuts on his back. Which was just wrong. Deeks hated to sleep on his side. He always ended up on his stomach or his back holding either Callen himself or a pillow to his chest.

None of this was computing in Callen's head which made it all the more wrong. He wanted to leave the room and try to clear his mind, but even the idea of leaving made him want to smack himself for being so stupid.

Right now Deeks needed him. He might not know that he needed him, but he did. And Callen needed Deeks in his eyesight. He had to make sure that nothing else was going to come and hurt the man.

"Here," a voice suddenly spoke causing the agent to jerk up once more.

A sigh fell from his lips when he came face to face with his partner. Falling back into his seat he took a let out a hollow chuckle that made him want to breakdown crying all the more. God, he hated crying so much.

"Have you gotten any rest?" Sam questioned placing a cup of coffee on the table next to him.

"No," Callen replied feeling the adrenaline rush out of him, "I don't want to close my eyes."

"The doctors are hopeful, G. They think he's going to pull through. Anyway, it's Deeks. The guys too stubborn to go out like this."

Shaking his head Callen reached out to touch the younger man's hand only to freeze before he could. The nurse had said that it was fine for him to do, but he looked so fragile. The last thing Callen wanted was to hurt him more.

Collapsing fully into his chair he dropped his head into his hands. He hated feeling as if there was nothing he could do and there really was nothing this time. They had to wait and see if Deeks was going to wake up.

"Callen," Sam continued after a pregnant pause, "He's going to be okay."

"You don't know that," responded the man shaking his head, "No one knows that. All we can do is sit here and do nothing while he..."

Callen's voice broke off with a sob that he couldn't hold in anymore. Digging his fingers into his head he curled in on himself crying once more as the thoughts overwhelmed him. He was really starting to hate his mind.

Image after image flew past his eyelids. From the life they shared together to the future that he had hoped they'd get to have he saw it all. It wasn't like normal though. Instead of feeling happiness and longing he felt as if everything had been violent torn from him.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder he looked up and saw his partner staring at him with a look of understanding. Of course he did. He and Michelle had probably gone through this more times than either liked to think about.

Slowly the younger agent got himself back under control. He still felt as if he was one breath away from breaking down again, but he could finally breathe without feeling as he wasn't getting any air in his lungs.

"Tell me about you guys," Sam suddenly requested staring down at him.

"What?" Callen questioned his voice wrecked from the tears.

"You guys are together. That much is clear. So, tell me about you guys."

A part of Callen didn't want to talk anymore. He knew that his mind wasn't working on all engines so whatever stories he did tell weren't going to be in any order or have any real back story to tell Sam about their relationship.

Still, he found himself telling his partner different things. From the first time they kissed to their first fight. It was random story after random story. Each one somehow both easier and harder to tell than the last one.

Around the fourth story Kensi joined them in the hospital room. She looked just as horrible as he did. That didn't really surprise him. The man was her partner and she had been there when it all happened.

Before long the three of them were all telling stories about the team detective. Some of them had them laughing slightly which only made Callen feel guilty. It was as if they were reminiscing about their dead friend.

Swallowing roughly the man turned his full attention to his husband. Two weeks. That was how long he had been sitting beside him waiting and hoping for the man to wake up or move or give him some indication that he was alive in there.

The doctors and nurses told him to have patience. That a lot of damage had been done to the younger man and his body needed time to heal. In his mind he knew that, but his heart was another story altogether.

All it wanted was to have those perfect ocean blue eyes blink open. For that blinding smile to be directed his way. To have that warm voice flow over him as he told him to stop watching him while he slept. He wanted his Sunshine back.

His fingers barely grazed over the warm skin when the heart monitor suddenly spiked. With wide eyes he looked down at his lover trying to figure out what was going on only to have some people rush in and push him to the side.

The three agents watched from the other side of the room not wanting to get in anyone's way, but not wanting to leave the man. Two hands came to rest on Callen's shoulders as they watched the doctors and nurses work on the young detective.

There was a voice in his head telling him that this was it. That Deeks' body had finally given into his injuries and had just stopped. That the last image he was ever going to have of the man was him bruised and injured in a hospital bed.

Callen wanted to close his eyes and ignore what was happening, but he couldn't. He stood there transfixed on the scene waiting to hear the words that he had been dreading since Hetty told him what had happened to the man.

Slowly the nurses began to step away from the bed leaving the doctor leaning over the man. Finally the man looked away from the scene not able to watch what was about to happen. Then a hand squeezed his shoulder.

"Callen," Kensi whispered tears clear in her voice, "Look."

Sky blue eyes darted back to the bed only to see ocean blue staring back at him. Suddenly it was as if he could breathe again. Pulling away from the other two he rushed to the side of the bed and took his husbands hand in his.

"Marty," Callen breathlessly laughed, "Don't you ever do that to me again, okay? You hear me, Sunshine. Never again."

The younger man's eyes narrowed slightly as the heart monitor picked up once more. He looked so distressed as Callen and the doctor both tired to calm him down. In the end the doctor ordered one of the nurses to give him drugs to calm down.

"Doctor?" Callen questioned shakily.

"I was hoping that the damage was healing," the doctor answered sadness in his eyes, "But from what I just saw… I believe that the explosion Detective Deeks was involved in caused him to lose his hearing."


	12. Chapter 12

So I'm a very evil writer sometimes, but it's a cute evil and I think that makes up for everything I do to torture these boys.

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

A frustrated sound fell from Deeks lips as he shut the tv off dropping the remote to the coffee table so not to throw it at the wall. Beside him he felt Monty's head jerk up but he didn't bother looking at the dog.

Ever since he had gotten out of the hospital an anger had taken up resident in his soul. At this point he couldn't even say what he was angry at, but he hated himself and everything he could think of for making him feel that way.

He knew that if he really stopped and thought about what was going on in his mind that he'd actually feel better. He didn't want to do that though because he knew as soon as he did he'd be saying that everything was okay and it wasn't.

His head and body were constantly aching and sore as he moved around. If he moved around. So far he'd gotten from the bed to the couch to the bathroom and back. That was if there was someone there that was pushing him.

At least sometimes. There were points in time though that simply having someone try to pull him from the bed made him want to throw a punch. He knew they were trying to help, but he pushed them away and curled in on himself.

For as much as he was a people person he wanted to be alone. That was a lie. He didn't want to be alone. He just… It didn't matter. The one thing he truly wanted was something that he was never going to get.

Shaking his head he slowly pushed himself off the couch and started back into the bedroom. It wasn't as if there was anything that he was going to be able to do in the rest of the house. He might as well just go back to sleep.

At least he had nothing to do until two o'clock rolled around and his phone started to vibrate in his pocket telling him to open the front door for the home care nurse. Something he was getting more and more tempted not to do.

He was sure that the man was a lovely person, but he kept pushing him to do things when all he just wanted everything to stop. He didn't want to learn how to live his life now that he was deaf. He didn't want to do anything.

Why was that so hard for people to understand? First the doctors in the hospital brought in someone that was going to teach him sign language now Hetty had organized to have someone reteach him how to act like an adult!

It was humiliating to say the least. He wasn't a stupid person by any means. That had always been a point of pride to him. No matter what anyone could say about him they could never say that he was stupid.

Curling up on top of the blankets he clenched his eyes shut trying to block out his own thoughts. Which had been why he went into the living room in the first place. To have some noise so he could not think in peace.

That was the only thing he wanted to do at that moment. Just have something on in the background so he didn't have to deal with himself. That wasn't going to happen though. He was never going to be able to do that again.

He knew that the main reason that he was feeling as horrible as he was was because he was in fact truly alone for the first time since he woke up in the hospital. For the seven weeks since that day he hadn't really spent any time alone. Even when he wanted it.

The man wasn't sure if that was because of Callen or because of Hetty, but he was both thankful for it and really pissed off. Being around someone made him feel better until he thought about the fact that he was never going to be able to hear them again.

He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs and break everything he could get his hands on whenever he thought that. Instead the only thing he could do was sob until it felt as if he was never going to be able to breathe again. He was almost completely sure he wasn't.

As he laid there drowning in his own misery he wished that his husband was there. The man would be holding him to his chest at this point saying nothing. Just letting Deeks breakdown for what felt like the hundredth time.

The older man wasn't there though. He had gotten a call early in the morning, when they were both pretending to be asleep, telling him that they needed his help. Deeks didn't really want to know any details about a case he should be working on.

He hated the fact that he wanted his husband there when he knew that his job was important. He hated Hetty for taking him away when he needed him the most. Hell, at this point in time he doubted there was anything he didn't hate.

Still, Deeks knew that it wasn't right of him to be angry at the woman. Throughout the whole thing she had been trying her hardest to be accommodating to the situation. Even if that meant that Callen ended up sitting at home with him just doing paperwork.

It wasn't often that his husband was called into the office, but even when he was she always had someone else on the team come and stay with him or came herself. Anything to make it so that he wasn't alone.

Not this time though. They needed all hands on deck and he should have been there to help them. Instead he was in his bed crying over a life that he had lost. One that he was never going to be able to get back.

At least that's what all the doctors had said. He had spent days at the hospital being forced to do test after test after test only to find that they had left the doctors with no hope of his eardrums healing on their own. He was going to be deaf for the rest of his life.

Deeks had no idea how long he laid there trapped in a world that felt like it was slowly killing him. Then something cold touched his back. Jerking up so he was sitting in the bed he glared down at Monty.

He opened his mouth to tell the dog off only to have it snap back shut. He hadn't actually said anything out loud since he had woken up and figured out what was going on. There wasn't really a point in trying in his mind.

Shaking his head at the dogs antics he waved a hand at him before moving to lay back down. The mutt wasn't going to be deterred though because soon he was jumping on top of Deeks his teeth tugging on his shirt trying to get him to stand up.

It was easy to see that he wasn't going to win against Monty so he pushed himself up and off of the bed letting himself be lead into the living room. Soon he was standing in front of the door staring out the window in it.

Mara stood on the other side with a brilliant smile on her lips causing his heart to drop. He had been so lost in his own mind that he had forgotten. How had he forgotten about his unborn child? What kind of parent does that?

Looking at the younger woman he stared to reach for the doorknob only to pull his hand back. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. It was obvious that she had no idea what was going on with them. No one would look that happy if they knew.

He couldn't just leave her out there and pretend that he hadn't seen her. No matter how horrible he felt in that moment he just couldn't do that to her. Not when she looked like she was about to bust in happiness.

Pushing his thoughts away he opened the door letting her walk into the house. From where he stood he could see her mouth moving quickly and, not for the first time, he wished he had the ability to read lips.

Once again he opened his mouth to say something before sighing. Even now he couldn't bring himself to say anything. With a shake of his head he walked past the woman and to the notepad that he knew was on the coffee table.

Writing the one thing that he had been both avoiding and obsessing over he handed the paper to her and moved to sit on the couch once more. He couldn't watch her face and see the happiness transform into pity.

His whole body jerked when he felt the seat next to him sink down. Looking over he saw Mara with the same brilliant smile on her lips that she had before holding out her hand as if she wanted him to take it.

Everything in him wanted to stand up and show her the door, but there was something in her eyes that stopped him. Swallowing roughly he gave her a shaking hand and watched as she placed it on her slightly rounded stomach.

For a moment the two of them simply sat there. Then he felt something flutter under his hand. Ocean blue eyes widened almost comically darting between the stomach and her eyes trying to figure out if she had felt it too.

Slowly her head nodded the already huge smile getting even brighter somehow. For the first time in weeks the tears that filled his eyes were ones of joy as he slipped onto his knees and pressed his ear to her stomach only to feel it again.

"Hello, little bit," Deeks muttered feeling as if his throat was on fire after so long of disuse, "It's your Daddy."


	13. Chapter 13

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Yawning widely Callen scrubbed a hand over his face before reaching out to pick up the coffee mug he had on his desk. At this point he was pretty sure that his blood was now mostly coffee and that his body was going to give into caffeine overdose.

Exhaustion had taken up residence in his bones as he went between his work and his home trying to get everything figured out. It wasn't as if he was upset about any of it. Hell, he was thrilled about it. Just dead tired as well.

The progress was slow, but he was finally seeing more of the man he had fallen in love with in his husband. He was smiling more often and doing things around the house or even just surfing online for things the baby was going to need.

Most days that was. He still had his bad days where there was nothing that was going to drag him out of their bed. It broke Callen's heart to see the strong, intelligent man that he knew turn into someone else.

Those days were getting further and further apart though. For the most part they only really happened whenever Deeks was forced to leave the house. It was usually to go to the therapists, but the idea of leaving the house just set him in a sour mood.

Callen wasn't really sure if it was the fact that he was out of his comfort zone or because they were going to a therapist, but the man hated it. He had actually tried to get out of it a few times earlier in their sessions.

They couldn't afford that though. Mostly because it wasn't just talking about how everything had changed. The therapist was actually the one teaching Deeks how to live with his disability and how to understand sign language.

The younger man had argued that he could just have someone on the team teach him. That wasn't untrue. Sam and Eric both knew sign language and he was sure that Hetty herself knew it as well. That wasn't the point.

At least not according to the doctor. He wanted Deeks to learn how to live around people outside his circle. Something that sounded like it made sense, but only made them both more frustrated with the whole situation.

Callen had no idea what else he could do though. He couldn't just sit back while his husband locked himself away. He also couldn't continue to watch as he got more and more frustrated with everything that was happening.

Dropping his head to his desk he resisted the urge to bash it in. Maybe a little more pain would stop the pain that was already there. Yeah, that didn't make any sense in his mind, but that was par for the course for him lately.

"Callen," Kensi called resting a hand on his arm causing his head to jerk up.

Sky blue eyes darted around the bullpen and saw both Kensi and Sam watching him. If he was a little more awake he was sure he'd be able to tell what they were thinking. He didn't have the energy for that though.

His mouth opened to tell them that he was fine when his eyes locked on the empty desk across from him. Even after all this time he wasn't used to not seeing his husband staring right back at him with a smile of his own. He doubted he ever would be.

It felt so wrong to not have the man there at work. The whole space was just empty without him sitting there snarking with Kensi or being teased by Sam or just sitting there quietly working on the days paperwork.

One of the reasons Callen had been a little more willing to enter a relationship with the man was because he knew that at the end of the day he didn't have to lie. When they went on a date or got home from work they both knew what happened that day.

They could talk about anything under the sun and there was no risk. Or they could sit there in silence and know why the other person just wanted to not be alone. That was something he had never had before. Something he had lost.

No one on the team would care if he continued to tell the younger man what happened on their cases. Whether or not Deeks worked with them he was a part of the team. Nothing was ever going to change that.

It was Deeks that told him not to tell him what happened at work. He wasn't ready to have the life he used to live thrown in his face. So Callen didn't talk about the day he had and he made sure no one else did.

Right now the younger man needed superficial things that didn't remind him of anything he had lost. It wasn't the easiest thing to do since their lives revolved around work, but they all made it work. For him.

That didn't mean it didn't hurt. Callen missed that connection that he had with his husband. The ability to finally have someone there that he didn't have to pretend around. He could be himself and know that that was good enough.

He knew that it would take time to get back everything they had, but at the same time he… He was thinking too hard about it all. He was a man with a lot of regrets. He didn't want any of them to be about his husband.

Not that Deeks was really letting that happen. The man was working overtime at their home. Everything was perfectly cleaned and there was always something freshly cooked whenever he came home. He had turned into a real homebody.

Which wasn't who the man was, but it was how he was coping so Callen couldn't complain. The younger man had also gotten a jump start on the babies bedroom. Which was good since they on had sixteen weeks before the baby was born.

A small smile came to his lips as he thought about the room. It was so beautiful. Light purple walls with dark gray trim. The bassinet and other furniture was a lighter gray color while the curtains were a dark purple.

There were some books and stuff animals around the room as well as a rocking chair placed by one of the windows. They still had a few things they wanted to get, but it was perfection in Callen's eyes. Absolute perfection.

"Callen," Kensi repeated a little louder knocking him from his thoughts.

"Sorry," he mumbled before clearing his throat and sitting up fully, "Sorry."

"Maybe you should go home and get some sleep. We're just waiting for a lead from the Super Twins. We can call you when we get something."

"No, I'm fine."

He watched as Kensi and Sam exchanged a worried look causing him to sigh. Everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around him. Not that that was surprising, but he was starting to get more than a little annoyed.

People worrying about him and acting as if he was going to explode made him want to do just that. He knew that things weren't alright at the moment. They were better than they were and they were getting better. That was all he could ask for.

"Are things not getting better with Deeks?" Sam asked his voice low.

"Guys," Callen glared at his team feeling each one of his years, "We're… We're as good as we can be right now. It's not as if this is easy. He's trying to learn his new way of life while both of us are trying to learn sign language. We're having some ups and downs, but we'll be fine once all of that works out. Which it will."

"We know that," Kensi jumped in with a crooked smile, "We're just concerned. You seem really stressed and Deeks is..."

"I know. I'm appreciate the concern, but it's unneeded. We just have to find a pattern. After we learn sign and the baby's room is completed then everything will be fine."

"THE WHAT?!" Sam and Kensi yelled both jumping to their feet.

Callen looked between the two of them for a moment before his words sunk in. He couldn't believe that he had forgotten to tell them about the baby after all this time. His mind really was starting to go.

Shaking his head the agent started to laugh to himself. He had no idea what it was that he found so funny, but as he sat there he found himself doubled over in laughter while his team sputtered in confusion around him.

When he finally started to calm down he wiped the tears of joy from his eyes as he got to his feet as well. As soon as he was up Kensi pulled him into a bear hug before pulling back and placing a kiss to his cheek.

"You and Deeks are having a baby?" she asked as Sam hugged Callen.

"Yeah," Callen grinned happily feeling so much lighter than he had before, "We're having a baby."


	14. Chapter 14

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

A sigh of relief fell from Deeks lips as he crashed onto the couch. Instantly Monty was jumping up next to him cuddling into his side. Smiling he buried his fingers in the shaggy fur wondering what he did to deserve such a good friend.

The dog had rarely left his side before the explosion and that hadn't changed. The man had no idea how he knew what happened to him, but with every passing day he proved that he had figured it out and was there to help in any way.

Sometimes that involved him getting Deeks attention when someone was knocking on the door or when he was cooking and the timer went off and he didn't feel his phone vibrate. A quick nip to the tips of his fingers and the man knew exactly what was going on.

More often than not though it involved getting him to stop thinking. That usually meant doing exactly what he was doing now. Cuddling up against his side forcing him to remember that he wasn't doing anything alone.

Most days Deeks could remember that on his own, but there were days when he felt more alone than he had ever before. Considering he had just gotten back from his therapists office one of those days was today.

He had always loved learning. It had been his escape when he was younger. Anything that he could get his hands on he wanted to learn. Languages were one of the things that he hadn't really ever had the time to learn though, outside of Spanish.

That had actually been his New Year Resolution for the past few years. He had been thinking about asking Callen to teach him Russian, but every time he tried to bring it up they were pulled into a new case and he forgot for awhile.

Now he had to learn ASL and it felt as if all the passion and love he had for learning was gone. It was just frustrating instead of fun. Especially whenever he messed up. Which was happening a lot more than he really liked to think about.

He wasn't used to having to use his fingers as much as he was now. They cramped up every once in awhile making it so that he misspoke. Every failure learning the language made him want to just give up on the whole thing.

That wasn't a luxury that he had though. This was the only way that he was going to learn how to communicate with people. Him not learning how to not only speak ASL but to understand it when others spoke it wasn't going to happen.

Deeks never thought of himself as the type of person that would just give in when things got tough. Hell, he had proven to himself time and time again that he wasn't that person. That didn't seem to matter anymore.

Letting out a sigh he began to reach for the remote to turn the tv on only to freeze. They had figured out how to put up the captions for the show, but that meant he was going to have to pay attention.

It was strange to think of how many things he did just out of sheer boredom. Most of his private life really did consist of just sitting around listening to the same five songs on repeat or staring blankly at a television screen.

Shaking his head he looked down at Monty and found the dog staring back up at him. Smiling sadly he bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. At least he still had his family and friends by his side.

It had taken him awhile to remember that the world hadn't stopped. His world hadn't stopped. It had changed drastically and he had to relearn it, but it was still going. Even when he wanted it to stop it never did.

Not knowing what else he was going to do with his day he took his phone out and started to send a text to his husband only to stop once again. He wanted to talk to the older man, but, unlike before, he had no idea what Callen was doing.

For all he knew he could be in the middle of an interrogation. The last thing he wanted to do was have the man leave that because he thought that there was something wrong at home. He couldn't do that to Callen.

His stomach twisted angrily as he thought about work. He knew that it had been up for serious discussion whether it would be him or Callen quitting their work as undercover operatives, but that had been their choice to make.

Now that life was ripped away from him without any say and without any chance of him ever getting it back. He didn't regret what he had done that put him in this situation. That didn't mean that he didn't hate it with everything he was though.

He hated himself for it, but when Callen left for work in the morning it felt like punch to the gut. Here he was sitting at home doing nothing with his life while his husband ran around saving the world from the bad guy of the week.

That had been his life and he loved it with everything he was. Now it was all over. He wasn't going to be able to do that ever again. He didn't even have any ideas what he could do with his life anymore.

Monty suddenly sat up causing Deeks to look at him. The mutt stared at him for a moment before jumping off the couch and making his way over to the door telling him that there was someone waiting for him.

With a roll of his eyes the man stood up and followed the dog over. A part of him wanted to completely ignore the person and continue to sit there, but instead he found himself opening the door to reveal Michelle and Kamran standing there.

"Hello, Marty," Michelle signed slowly to him while saying the words out loud for Kamran, "Can we come in?"

Nodding his head he moved out of the way letting the two in. Instantly the little girl was rushing over to Monty wanting to play with him. The dog looked towards Deeks and Michelle before moving with her.

A tap came to his shoulder making him look back over at the woman. Michelle smiled gently before motioning with her head towards the kitchen. Smiling back they walked into the other room and he poured two glasses of water for them.

"How are you?" she asked when he was looking at her once more.

Taking a deep breath he placed the glasses down his mind already working in overtime. She looked so calm signing. Of course that wasn't surprising considering who her husband was and how she was even a bigger badass than him.

"I don't really know right now," Deeks signed his signs slow and sloppy, "How are you?"

"Busy," Michelle replied with a shake of her head, "I hear you are too. Or you are going to be. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

For a moment neither of them spoke. There were a millions questions running through his head about what she was doing there, but he didn't want to be rude. He had been rude enough to people he cared about lately.

He had a strange relationship with the woman though. Yes, he cared about her like he cared about everyone, but he didn't actually know her all that well. Mostly because while he and Sam had gotten closer they still had some barriers up.

Deeks knew that it was because he was different than anyone the older man was used to be around. He couldn't really find fault with that. Sam was different than anyone that he knew himself. It was just who they were.

It had taken them awhile to get in a groove together. It was a bumpy groove and times, but neither of them doubted the other would have their back. They simply doubted their abilities in aspects of their work. That wasn't going to be an issue anymore though.

A hand was placed on the forearm causing him to look up at Michelle once more. He hadn't even noticed that he stopped looking at the woman. That was the worst part of losing his hearing. He had to be completely focused to notice things. Like someone talking to him.

"It will get easier," she finally signed.

"I know," Deeks responded instantly, "I just have to get used to this language."

"That's not what I meant. I meant not being at work. It will get easier not being there."

Instantly he looked away from her not wanting to have that conversation. He knew that if anyone understood that part of this it was the woman across the table from him. He just didn't want to deal with that right then.

Feeling the table move he glanced at the woman just in time to see her step in front of him. She gave him a look before motioning for him to stand up. He wanted to refuse, but she looked too determined to let him do that.

"Listen to me, Marty Deeks," Michelle signed the look in her eyes more serious than he had seen from her, "You are going to be fine. Things are tough right now, but you will figure them out."

"How?" he questioned feeling his frustration mount, "I don't know if you can tell, but I'm sucking at this ASL thing."

"You're new. It will get easier once you're used to it. I doubt Callen is doing all that better in his lessons with Sam."

"Sam is teaching Callen ASL?"

"Yes. Also, you're doing great. You haven't once asked me to repeat myself. You just think you're doing poorly because you mad that the situation."

Deeks stared at the woman in shock. She was the first person to really talk to him like that since the explosion. An almost giddy smile came to his lips after a second and he couldn't stop himself from pulling her into a hug.

"Thank you," he signed pulling away from her.

"You're welcome," Michelle replied with a smile of her own, "Now, as I was saying. You're going to get used to not working as a cop. It's not going to be easy, but it will get easier."

"I hope so. I hate being mad at Callen for leaving every morning."

"You will. Soon you'll be mad at him for something totally different."

Laughing out loud he nodded his head in agreement. For the first time in a long time he felt almost normal. Like he was starting to be a person again. It was something he wasn't sure he'd ever feel again.

"You're going to miss it," Michelle continued when he quit laughing, "I miss it everyday and I know that it's not the same thing. I might go back one day when Kamran is an adult, but I can tell you this. Once that baby is in your life being an undercover cop isn't going to be more than a passing thought."

"What if it's not enough?" Deeks asked finally voicing what had been going on in his head, "What if I start to resent Callen or the baby?"

"You won't."

"You don't know that."

"I know you though. Everything that both Callen and Sam have told me says what I need to know. You're going to be fine. You just need to stop thinking of the negative."

"Hard not to."

"I know. It'll work out though. You'll see."


	15. Chapter 15

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Sky blue eyes scanned the backyard once more taking everything in. After a difficult case that ended with Kensi having two broken ribs, Sam having a broken arm, and Callen himself having a concussion the team was given a whole week off of work.

Okay, so it wasn't so much given the time off as Hetty taking one look at them and dismissing telling them to go back home. He didn't think they looked too bad. Just a little more banged up than usual. Possibly a little higher than usual if everyone was taking their pain medication.

In the end though he couldn't say that he was upset about it. He was actually pretty thrilled about the idea of spending some time at home without fear of being called back into the office because there was a new case that needed their attention right then.

He hadn't realized just how much of his life was spent at work. Of course, he knew that that was where he spent the majority of his hours, but he had thought that he had a pretty nice life outside of work as well.

Then he was put in a position where his work and his personal life were in fact different. He didn't get to go home and have someone that knew exactly what had happened that day. Luckily, Deeks was getting better with hearing what happened day to day, but not about the cases themselves.

Which lead them to where they were now. He had convinced Deeks that it would be a good idea to have a barbeque while they were off. It was really the first time that they were all together since Deeks got out of the hospital.

The younger man wasn't the same person that he had been before. While he normally loved being around people now he hated it. It wasn't that he disliked people suddenly. It was because he couldn't keep up in the conversations.

He was a talker. That was the first thing that Callen had learned about the man when they first met. He loved to tell stories or just talk about nothing for hours on end. He also loved to hear stories from other people.

As much as he tried to do the same now it wasn't easy. If he wasn't focused on someone than whatever it was they said he would miss completely. Because of that he hadn't been in a large group where he was being forced to interact with everyone in awhile.

The team visited the house of course. He had made it clear to them early on though that Deeks wasn't ready to be around that many people though. It was usually just one or two people at a time so he wasn't overwhelmed.

The man had been making leaps and bounds in his learning. He was pretty much fluent in ASL and barely even hesitated when he started to sign like he did when he was first learning. It was amazing to see how much he had grown.

It was because of that growth that Callen had pushed for the get together. He wanted his husband to see that every doubt that he was having about himself was just in his own mind. Things had changed, but not everything had been lost.

Considering Deeks was in the back by the trees with Kensi and Eric laughing his head off Callen was pretty sure he had been right. It had helped that the team had decided to surprise the man by learning ASL themselves.

The agent couldn't help but smile as he thought back to sitting around the bullpen with Sam and Kensi learning ASL. It had been quite the learning experience. Especially seeing just how frustrated the woman got when she messed up.

Then he had walked into Ops and had been blown away. Both Eric and Nell had decided to just sign what the case was instead of telling them out loud. He found out later that Eric had been tutoring Nell when they had free time. Outside of work as well as in.

He had loved seeing that. They all knew that Deeks was never going to come back to work. That didn't meant that he was out of their lives though. The team was a family and they wanted him to know that they were there for him.

Deeks had been thrilled when he saw that they all knew how to sign. He had been really questioning what his leaving the team meant. Now that he knew he still had them in his life though he hadn't been able to stop smiling.

So the entire team was in their backyard and he did mean everyone was there. Nell was in a heated water gun battle with Sam and Kamran, and by default Monty. Hetty standing near the grill with Granger talking in hushed tones though they did look as content as they normally did.

Callen's eyes slowly drifted from them to the table he had set up earlier. There sat Michelle and a heavily pregnant Mara. She looked like she was ready to pop at any moment and he couldn't be happier to see that.

Today was the perfect day for him. There was nothing that he could ask for that he didn't already have. His family was right in front of him and he truly felt as if he was where he belonged. He didn't have to search for anything anymore.

Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist causing him to tense before relaxing when he saw that it was just Deeks. Shaking his head he turned in the man's arms and stared up at him the smile he knew was one his face mirrored on his husbands.

Leaning down the younger man pressed a kiss to his lips before pulling away fully. He knew that Callen wasn't really one for public displays of affection, but sometimes they were worth it. Today was one of them.

"Thank you," Deeks signed his smile only getting wider, "This is perfect."

"It is," Callen replied nodding his head, "It's a good day, isn't it?"

Deeks lifted his hands to reply only to take a step back just as Callen was hit in the back with icy water. Spinning around he found both Nell and Kensi holding water guns with suspiciously innocent looks on their faces.

Before he could say anything a glass of water was poured on his head. The laughing behind him told him that it was his husband joining in on the little game. It seemed as if it was time to pick on Callen for some reason.

Without a second thought he took off running just as a spray of water came his way from Sam's gun. It didn't take long for him to figure out that it was everyone against him and that he had no weapons.

Breathing heavily he ran towards the table and moved so he was hiding behind it. Even with everyone attacking him he had managed to get away from them somehow. He doubted that that was going to last long though.

He watched as his husband began to move closer to the table. Making a split decision he tapped the man on the leg causing him to whip around his ocean blue eyes darting everywhere trying to figure out what was going on.

"Giving away your position," Deeks signed with a shake of his head, "That was stupid, Callen."

"You don't have a weapon," Callen countered with a smirk, "Anyway, I'm not looking to fight."

"Really? What are you after then?"

"Join me. We can take the others down."

A flash of doubt flickered in the younger man's eyes. It was one thing to pour water on someone's head, but it was something different to be actually joining in on the water war that was going on.

That was when Callen got a good look at his husband. He was completely dry. He hadn't been apart of the people chasing the agent around. At some point in time he stepped aside and decided to let the others have fun.

Offering his hand Callen pulled the man down until they were both sitting in the grass. With a smile he placed a kiss to the man's knuckles when he saw the doubt turn into sadness. His husband really did think too much sometimes.

"You can do this," Callen signed staring into his eyes, "We can do this."

"I can't hear if they're sneaking up on me," Deeks shook his head.

"Just focus and use your other senses. You can do this, Sunshine."

Deeks stared at him for another beat before slowly nodding his head. He looked nervous as he stood up and came face to face with Nell. She seemed to sense something was going on and dropped her guard just enough for him to get the water gun away from her.

Both of them looked surprised that he had done that, but it didn't take long after that for her to start turning away as he shot her with water. A happy laugh left his lips as he looked down at Callen with a triumphant look.

"Good job," Callen signed up at him before standing up, "Now let's get them."

With a nod Deeks started towards the rest of the team with a smirk on his face and Callen standing behind him. The tides had changed and a real water war was about to break out between them all. Once Callen got a water gun.

"Not to break up the fight," Hetty spoke from the other side of the yard, "But I believe the food is ready."

Tapping Deeks on the back Callen signed food before walking to the grill. Granger was already standing there taking things off and handing them to Hetty who put them on the table. Seeing there was nothing to do he went to the table and sat down.

Kensi had forced Deeks to sit at the top of the table to make sure he could see everybody if they started to talk. That wasn't going to happen though since everyone started to dig into the food as if they were starving.

As he ate his eyes darted between Deeks and Mara simply taking them both in. He had been worried when he invited the woman over that she and Deeks wouldn't be able to talk, but that was blown out the water when she started to sign.

She had pointed out that she was going to be all over the world. Of course she was going to need to know how to talk in different languages. It was so matter of fact that Callen could have hugged her for it.

Smiling contently at the day he started to reach for the corn on the cob when the table shook. Head whipping over to Mara he saw her doubled over breathing heavily her hands clenching her stomach.

"Mara?" Callen questioned fear clear in his voice, "What's wrong?"

For a moment everyone was quiet waiting for her to say or do something. It took a few more seconds before she said anything but then her head slowly lifted up. Her eyes were wide and she looked caught between sheer panic and utter happiness.

Her hands were shaky as she lifted them up her eyes going between his face and Deeks. With a smile she signed and said the one thing that he had been dreaming about hearing for longer than he liked to admit.

"I think the baby is coming."


	16. Chapter 16

Finally! The baby is here!

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

With a cup of ice chips in one hand and two bottles of juice in the other Deeks made his way through the hospital towards Mara's room. After being in the hospital for six hours he had left the room to get them all drinks.

He couldn't help but shake his head when he realized it had been six hours. At least, that was according to the clock that was hanging over the nurses desk. For some reason though that number just didn't seem right to him.

Every second that passed seemed to go on forever yet be gone in a flash. He had no idea if he was making sense, but he found that he didn't care. His baby was going to be born soon. Nothing else mattered to him at that moment in time.

A blissful smile came to his lips as he made his way down the hallway. Around him he could see other people waiting for news on whatever it was that brought them there. Some looked like they were about to fall apart while others were as happy as he was.

There was a part of him that was always going to hate hospitals. He'd been in and out of them his whole life and never in a good way. Bruised, bloody, and beaten were no way to go through life if you could help it.

As a cop he hadn't minded so much being in the hospital. Yes, he hated it, but he had a reason for being there. He had done something to help another and had gotten hurt. There was nothing better to him than that.

As a child and teenage though. That was just pure hatred. Most of the time he had been taken to the hospital because someone had decided it would was a brilliant idea to use him as a punching bag. It hadn't been fair.

Even as those images ran through his mind though he couldn't bring himself to care about them. In the wake of his child's birth nothing could bring him down. He was beyond giddy and they still had hours to go before he'd be able to hold the child.

He wished for a moment that they had decided to find out the sex of the baby. He didn't care either way, but he wished he had some idea to hold on to. The baby's birth wasn't going to come quick enough for him.

Walking into the room he saw Callen and Mara talking quietly to themselves. Deeks couldn't help but stop and simply watch them wanting to take in everything that was happening. Even if nothing was really happening yet.

Mara looked somewhere between tired as hell and euphoric. A huge smile was on her sweaty face as she sat on the edge of the bed about to stand up. One hand was gripping Callen's while the other was resting on her stomach.

In that moment Deeks remembered a photo that his mother had shown him once. It was from the day he was born. His dad was where Callen was and a nurse had been nice enough to take a picture of them when asked.

They both had looked so damn happy about his birth. Like there was nothing in the world that was ever going to change the love they had for each other. That had always been his favorite picture growing up. A perfect family.

Swallowing roughly Deeks looked at his husband. He looked exactly how the younger man felt. They were over the moon with happiness and excitement at the idea of finally being able to meet their baby.

With everything that had happened in Deeks past he had been completely sure that this was something that he was never going to get. That he hadn't do anything in his life to deserve this level of complete happiness. He had never been more excited at the idea of being wrong.

And maybe he didn't deserve it, but he cherished it with all of his heart. This was everything that he had ever dreamed of having and than some more. He was never going to get over the fact that this was the life that he had gotten in the end.

Blinking back tears of joy he moved closer to the pair just as Mara stood up fully. She gave him a blinding smile as he got closer and he couldn't help but awkwardly wrap his arms around her trying not to spill what he was holding.

The two of them stood there simply holding each other. In the back of his mind he knew that it wasn't exactly the time, but he needed the woman to know what her doing all of this meant to him. To them.

Pulling back slowly he gave her a shaky smile before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Mara grinned back herself her eyes rimmed in red from both the tears that she had already cried and the ones that were still to come.

When he was fully away from her he cleared his throat and handed everyone their drinks. As he turned towards his husband though he was pulled into a hug himself. The strong arms holding him as if he thought he was going to disappear.

Leaning back but not breaking the hold Deeks let their lips brush together. For awhile the two of them simply stood there holding each other just reminding both of them that they were there and that they were good.

Feeling a tap on his shoulder he broke the hug and looked back at Mara. Her head was cocked to the side blue eyes filled with curiosity. Turning fully to the woman he gave her his full attention wondering what she was thinking.

"Have you two thought about what you want to name the baby?" she both signed and asked out loud.

Blinking a few times he looked back at Callen only to see him staring at the ground looking as just as lost as Deeks felt. He couldn't believe that the two of them had actually forgotten to think of names for their child.

Laughter bubbled in his throat that he tried and failed to hide. Both Mara and Callen were staring at him as if he was insane, but he couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculous that whole thing sounded in his head.

"Sorry," Deeks apologized as soon as he had control over himself, "As you can tell neither of us have thought about this."

"Well," Mara replied with a small shake of her head, "You two discuss this while I walk around this room."

"We should come with you," Callen instantly added eyes darting between them both, "To be safe."

"I'm just going to go look out the window. Looks like a nice night. You'll be fine."

With that Mara ended the conversation and made her way across the room. It wasn't as if she was that far away from them, but the fact that they weren't right there to keep her safe made him feel anxious.

A calloused hand linked with his dragging his attention away from the pregnant woman and to his husband. For the first time since they had gotten to the hospital he actually looked nervous about what was going on.

"Are you okay?" Deeks signed watching the man worriedly.

"Nervous," Callen replied his shoulders sagging a little, "Scared."

"Why? You're going to be an amazing father."

"I haven't actually had many role models."

"Neither did I. You don't need role models to learn how to be a father, G. That's just them being a good parent to their child. Not yours. You're already acting like a good parent though."

"How so?"

"You already love them with all of your heart and you're scared that you're not going to be good enough for them. I don't know much about parenthood, but I know that those two things mean that you will do everything for this child and they're going to be so lucky to have you as their dad."

Callen stared at Deeks for another beat before cupping the back of his head and kissing him. It wasn't a deep kiss, but it had the younger man's heart racing as he felt the passion and love the man was pouring into it.

Clinging to his husband he let his mind go completely blank. Callen wasn't the only one nervous about being a parent, but in that moment he felt as if he could take on the world as long as the other man was by his side.

They stayed there for a moment simply exchanging reassuring kisses. Then Callen slowly pulled away from him a smile on his lips as he brushed his thumb over Deeks cheek wiping away a tear that he didn't even know had fallen.

"I don't know what to call the baby yet," Callen signed looking calmer than he had before, "But we also never decided what we wanted the baby to call us."

"No we didn't," Deeks agreed rolling his eyes at their forgetfulness, "You have an idea?"

"I was hoping you'd be okay with being called Daddy."

"I can get behind that. What about you?"

"Papa. I don't know why, but I've always liked the sound of it."

"Alright, Papa it is."

Callen opened his mouth to say something only to stop his eyes going wide as he pushed passed the younger man. Spinning around he watched as the man moved to the side of a doubled over Mara just as a nurse came walking through the door.

Not knowing what was going on he took a step back as the three of them made their way back to the bed. He had never felt more disconnected with the world as he did watching the scene play out in front of him.

His heart was racing as the tried to figure out what if something was wrong or not. It wasn't as if he could ask anyone just then. As far as he knew only Mara and Callen knew sign and both of them were busy.

The world seemed to slow down with every passing second. There had to be something that he should be doing, but he couldn't move. Then he saw the pregnant woman holding out a hand towards him a shaky smile on her lips.

Without a thought he took her hand in his holding on just as tightly as she was. The world seemed to fuzz out around him as he focused on her. He couldn't help the doctors and nurses, but he could help Mara. Even if he couldn't hear her.

He had no idea how long he was standing there simply holding her hand and wiping the sweat soaked hair from her face. Then suddenly she dropped back onto the bed panting heavily and looking completely worn out.

His eyes darted away from her face just in time to see the doctor hold up his baby. It felt as if the air hand been punched out of him when he saw the tiny squished up face. The baby looked so beautiful.

Looking to the other side of the bed he saw Callen looking just as breathless as he did. The hand holding his slowly let go and gave him a barely there tap causing him to move forward and take a better look at his child. A girl. He had a baby girl.

His eyes never left his daughter as the umbilical cord was cut and she was passed to nurses to clean her up. His heart broke knowing that she was crying her lungs out. That he was never going to hear that amazingly horrible noise.

Feeling something move next to him he glanced over and saw Callen standing next to him watching the little girl as well. He looked as if all the answers that he had been searching for his whole life had finally been answered.

Tapping his hand Deeks waited until the older man could finally tear his eyes away from their daughter. It took him a moment and he couldn't blame the man. He didn't want to look away from the little slice of perfection either.

"What about Isabelle Marie?" Deeks signed slowly hoping the man liked the name.

"Isabelle Marie Callen," he repeated just as slowly, "It's beautiful."

Smiling Deeks turned back to his daughter as one of the nurses walked over holding her. With a grin she handed the baby to him making sure she corrected his arms before she took a step back letting the new parents hold their child.

"Isabelle," Deeks whispered wanting his daughter to know his voice even if he'd never know hers, "I love you, Isabelle. I love you."


	17. Chapter 17

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Feeling something gently rake through his hair Deeks opened his eyes slightly before clenching them shut when the sun blinded him. He had no idea how the sun could possibly be so high in the sky when it had just been coming up only five minutes ago.

At least that's what it felt like. He had spent most of the night pacing around the house or sitting in the rocking chair attempting to calm Isabelle down and get her to sleep. She did not agree with that idea.

They had brought their daughter home from the hospital about a month ago and to say that she didn't sleep well was an understatement. Actually, that was a lie. She slept perfectly well while he was doing things around the house, but as soon as he was down she was up.

Yawning widely he sat there for a moment not wanting to be awake. That thought went down the drain when he felt movement in his arms. Letting his eyes open he looked down and saw the most beautiful azure eyes staring up at him.

A smile came to his lips as his little girl stared up at him. Her chubby little hand waved around for a second before a finger came into his view that she latched onto as if she was never going to let it go.

Looking away from her his eyes locked onto his husband's face watching as the man interacted with their girl. He looked more free and at peace in that moment than Deeks had ever seen before. It made his heart swell with happiness.

The sky blue eyes slowly lifted and met with ocean blue. Callen's free hand came up to brush the hair away from Deeks face causing the younger man to nuzzle into his hand the best he could before it was pulled away.

With a shake of his head the older man bent down and placed a kiss to the top of his head then moved down further to do the same to Isabelle. For a moment longer they stayed there simply being with each other.

Deeks had never realized how little time he spent just being when he was working as a cop. He didn't think that he took anything for granted, but he also never just stopped and let himself enjoy the moment while it was happening.

Now he could do that. There was no place to rush off to and he had no fear that he was going to get called away during the middle of something. He could just be at home taking care of his daughter and that was surprisingly perfect to him.

He still missed being out in the field working. There were even times when he felt as if he should just start running until he tired himself out like he used to. Slowly those thoughts were fading to be background noise. Mostly.

Callen, on the other hand, didn't have the luxury of that. As pointed out by the fact that this was the first time Deeks had seen his husband in a little over two weeks. Though they had been texting and he had face timed with Isabelle.

It didn't really surprise either of the men when the agent got the phone call saying the team needed him. He might have been promised the time off, but there were some things that were out of their control. The man hated leaving them, but it was going to happen sooner or later.

So for the most part the younger man had been alone taking care of Isabelle. Well, that wasn't true. He had Monty. Who had decided that he was the protector of the baby. Which was pretty cute to watch when he got the chance.

The mutt had stopped sleeping in the bed with Deeks and moved to sleeping on the floor next to the bassinet. Actually, the only time the dog was away from Isabelle was when he was getting Deeks or Callen. He was the best warning system that the parents could ask for.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder Deeks came out of his thoughts and looked up at his husband. The man was holding out his arms so he could take Isabelle. For a split second something twisted in his heart before he let the man take their daughter.

He knew that it was stupid, but he watched the older man carefully as he started to walk around the room. The man just wanted to make sure that Callen was doing everything correctly and that the little girl wasn't in any danger.

In the back of his mind he knew that his daughter wasn't in any danger. Callen hadn't seen his daughter in weeks so of course he wanted to spend some time with her. There was a certain paranoia that Deeks had whenever she wasn't in his arms.

Shaking his head at the ridiculousness of his thoughts he left the bedroom needing to stretch his legs. He had spent almost every night in the past month sleeping in a rocking chair. Sleeping on the hard concrete of a sidewalk felt better than a rocking chair.

Deeks made his way into the kitchen once again yawning. He felt as if he could sleep for a year and still be tired, but he was awake now. He knew that he should sleep while the baby was sleeping, but he had never been a nap person. Once he was up he was up.

Going to the fridge he started to get everything out to make breakfast. He knew that Callen was always starving when he got home from a mission and he himself felt like he could eat a horse. As he took the eggs out of the fridge he felt a hand skim over his lower back.

Looking up he saw his husband staring at him with a smile. The older man took the food out of his hands and put it away. He wanted to argue, but he was more curious to see what he was doing. Then he saw the man pull a paper bag out of the microwave and put it on the counter.

"What's that?" Deeks questioned glancing from the bag to Callen.

"Burrito," Callen signed with a smirk, "Your favorite from that place a few blocks from work. I figured you'd be tired and thought I'd save you some cooking. Also, I didn't know if you'd be awake so I ate already."

"You are the best!"

Grabbing the bag he pressed a kiss to his husband's cheek before sitting at the table and digging into the bag. It had been so long since he had had this place and he had been dying to go out and grab some food. He was just a little too busy for that right then.

Okay, so he was still a little nervous when it came to going to restaurants and ordering food. It just always felt weird to hand someone a piece of paper with his order on it and watch as they stared at him like he was crazy.

Looking up at Callen he gave the man a toothy grin only to have him shake his head in amusement. In that moment it felt as if they were back to who they were before the explosion. Just a married couple having breakfast together. It was perfect.

"You look like crap," Callen signed still looking amused, "Isabelle giving you a hard time?"

Rolling his eyes the younger man put his food down and wiped his hands off ready to go into everything that he had missed so far. Before he could though he saw something akin to guilt hiding behind the amusement.

Sighing he stood up and pulled the man into a tight hug. Slowly the strong arms that he loved so much wrapped around his waist holding onto him. The couple simply stood there for a moment holding each other before Deeks took a step back.

"It's okay," Deeks signed staring into the sky blue eyes, "You were working. You didn't abandon us."

"Sam said the same thing," Callen replied rolling his eyes, "That doesn't really make me feel better. I've been gone for two weeks. We're supposed to be in this together and I just left."

"Because you were out saving the world. I know you would have been here if you could have been."

"Will she? When Isabelle is old enough will she understand why I'm gone?"

"Of course she will. She'll know that her Papa is a hero and is fighting his hardest to make the world a safer place for her."

"How long will that fly before she resents the fact that I'm never there for the important things?"

"G, think back to all the times you or Hetty let Sam have time off or let him go home early because of something his kids were doing? They're going to do the same thing to make sure you're here for Isabelle. It'll work out."

Callen looked like he was going to respond but the words failed him. Taking a step closer Deeks wrapped him in another hug his hand gently running over his back. Unconsciously he started to feel to see if the man was injured. It wouldn't be the first time he hid his pain.

When he didn't feel the older man flinch he relaxed a little more into the hug resting his head on the man's shoulder. He didn't have any place to be and from the looks of things neither did Callen. At least until Isabelle needed them.

He had no idea how long the two of them stood there swaying slightly to music that wasn't there. It was nice though. Especially since Callen hated dancing of any kind. Then he felt the man start to pull away.

"Isabelle," Callen signed with a smile.

"I can get her if you want to head into the shower or grab some sleep," Deeks responded with a small shrug.

"Let me take care of our baby. I've been wanting to since I left. You can shower and sleep though. I've got her."


	18. Chapter 18

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Sitting on the floor Callen lifted one of Isabelle's stuffed animals causing the four month old to laugh and reach out for it. She looked so happy when he gave her the toy only to have her smash it against her chest as soon as it was in her arms.

He sat there listening to the little girl babble to the toy, lovingly known as Frost, in her car seat. Monty laid curled up beside her with his head resting by her feet. Both of them looked ready for what the day had planned for them.

Behind him he could hear his husband once again moving around the room making sure he gathered everything that Isabelle would need on her sleep over at Sam's. Something that he had been doing since he got up this morning.

At first he had tried to help the younger man, but it had become clear rather quickly that he was just getting in the way. Deeks had a system that, while Callen understood enough to grab things he need, he did not understand enough to help pack her bag.

Now though, the bag was packed and waiting by the front door. Everything was ready for the night. Deeks was just too nervous to slow down. Not that Callen could blame him. He was nervous himself. Despite the fact that it had been his idea.

Both Sam and Michelle had pointed out that it was always difficult to leave a baby. The first time was, of course, the hardest. Every thing that could possibly go wrong, and a few that defied logic, ran through a parents head.

Something that had been happening to Callen since he went back to work. In a way he was used to not being around the little girl every moment of every day. Sometimes he was lucky if he got to see her every day.

Deeks hadn't gotten that though. He was with Isabelle all day, every day. His main priority was to take care of their daughter and he was damn good at it. She was lucky to have someone like him looking out for her.

Everything in his life was pretty much going smoothly and he loved it. For the most part. He knew that it was stupid of him to think about it when so much was going on in their lives, but he missed having time with just his husband.

In truth he had just barely gotten used to not seeing the younger man when he was at work. Now when he got home the man was either sleeping already or taking care of Isabelle. It was as if they had no time to even say hello to each other anymore.

Not that he was complaining. There were so many more important things to be worrying about. That didn't change the fact that he missed being able to simply hold his husband at night or share a kiss before he left for work.

In the end he brought it up to Sam when they were on a stakeout. The older man pointed out that an important aspect of being a parent was making sure you didn't forget your spouse or yourself. And the best way to do that was a date night every once in awhile.

It had actually been one of the weirder conversations that the two of them had ever had. For some reason though Sam was much more open about his relationship with his wife and his kids now that he knew Callen had them as well.

The man knew that his partner was different when it came to his home life. That as soon as he walked through the door he was a devoted father and a loving husband. He had drawn a line in the sand and did his best never to cross it. That was something that Callen had always respected of him.

Now that Callen had a family though it was as if he was brought into some secret group and he had no idea what he was supposed to do with that. Well, outside of taking the man up on his offer to babysit Isabelle so he and Deeks could have some time to themselves.

Which brought them to now. Any moment the doorbell was going to ring and they were going to hand their daughter over to Sam before leaving on their date. Her first day away from Deeks and their first real date since the explosion.

Callen wasn't sure that the younger man even realized just how long it had been for them. It really didn't matter when he could come home and still have time with Deeks. Now he didn't really get that time anymore.

It wasn't going to be easy. His husband was going to spend a lot of time checking his phone and worrying about Isabelle. It was just something that parents did. He was going to be doing that himself. It didn't matter to him.

All that he cared about was being able to spend some time with the man. At this point in time he didn't care if it was them sharing the same bed while they were both fast asleep. As long as Deeks was there he was happy with it.

A part of him wondered if it was too early for them to be doing this. She was only four months old. They would have plenty of time to really get used to the idea of having someone else take care of her.

Before he could think anymore on it though the doorbell rang. With a sigh he stood up causing Deeks to look over when he saw the movement. The ocean blue eyes looked almost panicked for a moment before he nodded his head and set the things he had in his hand down.

With an encouraging smile Callen bent down and lifted the car seat up. Isabelle let out a distressed noise when Frost fell from her arms. Instantly Monty had the toy in his mouth handing it to Deeks to give back to the baby.

Once everyone was ready they made their way downstairs. Sam had already opened the front door and was looking around for them. He shook his head when he saw them walking slowly down the stairs.

"Having second thoughts?" Sam asked as well as signed for Deeks benefit.

"Funny," Deeks replied before taking a deep breath, "Don't make me think about this anymore or I just might call it all off."

Nodding his head in understanding Sam took the bag that Deeks offered before holding his hand out for the car seat. A brink was in Callen's stomach as he watched his husband bend down to look at their daughter.

"I love you, Isabelle," Deeks said out loud tears glistening in his eyes, "Be good for Uncle Sam and Aunt Michelle."

It was rare that the younger man spoke anymore. In truth it only happened when he was saying something to Isabelle. She didn't understand ASL and he had pointed out that he wanted her to know his voice. Even if he couldn't hear her.

They walked out with Sam and helped him put the car seat in the car. Before he could close the door to the backseat though Monty jumped in drawing a startled laugh from Deeks and a roll of the eyes from Sam.

"He's not coming," Sam signed staring at Deeks.

"I dare you to make him move," Deeks challenged with a smirk.

Shaking his head Sam closed the door and got in the drivers seat. All of the light humor was gone as the man turned the car on and made his way out of the driveway and then off of their street completely.

Sky blue eyes glanced over at Deeks and saw that he was just barely keeping it together. It was as if his heart was driving away in the car. Which, Callen knew, wasn't far from the truth. Isabelle was the most important thing in their lives.

His heart hurt seeing the younger man look so sad. Reaching out he placed his fingers on Deeks chin and moved it until they were looking into each others eyes. Slowly ocean blue eyes blinked coming back to life.

"She's going to be okay," Callen signed a smile on his lips.

"I know," Deeks replied before sighing, "I just..."

"I know. I feel the same when I leave for work in the morning."

Deeks nodded his head before standing up straighter and holding his hand out. Smiling at the gesture Callen slipped his fingers in his husband's. They stood there silently for a moment getting used to the fact that they were alone.

Then Callen was pulling the younger man back into the house. He had had a huge plan for their first date, but all of that was thrown out the window when he saw the man. None of it mattered anymore as long as Deeks was there.

Once the door was closed he was threading his fingers in his husband's hair and pulling him into a kiss. The man responded instantly pushing him against the closed door plastering his body against the agent's.

It felt so good as the man's hand traveled down his chest undoing the buttons as he went. The shirt was pushed onto the floor as the talented mouth peppered the newly exposed skin with kisses and nips as he moved to his knees.

Callen's head fell against the door while Deeks undid his pants and pulled them and his boxers down only to have them get caught on his shoes. After a moment of fumbling with his clothes the older man was completely naked as his husband nuzzled at his hard cock.

Thrusting his hips forward slightly he watched through hooded eyes as the man stuck his tongue out letting it lick at the tip of his cock. He was enthralled as Deeks hand came up to caress his hips and thighs his tongue never stopping its movements.

The teasing continued until Callen felt himself shaking with want. He had forgotten just how much the younger man loved drawing everything out until he felt as if he was going to scream out in frustration.

Just as he began to think of ways to get Deeks attention to ask him for more he was taken into the sinful mouth. His mouth fell open in a silent scream while his hands gripped the man's shoulders trying not to thrust into the wet heat.

In that moment the teasing had vanished as Deeks swallowed around him. The man was pulling out every stop he knew to get Callen to come. After so long of nothing it didn't take much for him to do exactly what the man wanted.

Standing there panting he felt the younger man make his way to his feet making sure they were pressed against each other. He licked his lips in anticipation seeing the eyes he loved blown wide with lust.

A smirk came to Deeks lips as he took Callen's hand in his and pulled him through the house into their room. As they went he kicked off his own clothing leaving them littered throughout the hallway.

They fell onto the bed both men running their hands over each other sharing heated kisses. Their bodies writhed together drawing moans and gasps from them. It was so similar to their first time it was a little scary.

Callen ended up straddling his husband's waist panting heavily as he looked down at his lover. His hair had grown back to its usual shaggy self though his beard was a little fuller than it had been when he was working.

Making a quick decision the agent reached over into the nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube. He coated his fingers in it and began to open himself up. It wasn't often that he did this, but he needed to feel Deeks in him.

Below him he watched the younger man as he realized what he was doing. He reached up and started to play with Callen's nipples. The agent tossed his head back letting himself get lost in the feeling.

It didn't take much more time before Callen was pulling the fingers out of himself and slicking Deeks up. The younger man tried to watch carefully as he lowered himself on the hard cock, but he ended up throwing his head against the bed a guttural moan falling from his lips.

Not wanting to waste time Callen placed his hands on the man's chest and began to ride him. Strong hands came up to grip his waist helping him move before they tightened and flipped them over so he was on bottom.

Hiking one of the agent's legs over his shoulder Deeks set an almost brutal pace. With a loud gasp Callen took hold of himself. He barely had a grip on his cock before his second orgasm hit him and he was coming.

The world whited out around him, but he heard his name as his husband spilled inside of him. The younger man collapsed next to him a second later. Both of them laid there trying to get back under control of themselves.

Sitting up Callen let his finger trace over the side of his husband's face causing him to smile. Sleepy ocean blue eyes blinked up at him before the younger man brushed their lips together and fell back against the bed.

"We missed our reservation," Deeks signed before yawning.

"We did," Callen agreed.

"We were supposed to be having a date night."

"We were, but this was better. How about we just order some pizza and go to sleep?"

"You read my mind, G."


	19. Chapter 19

Just in case anyone was thinking the story was too fluffy.

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Stretching his arms above his head Deeks sighed as his spine popped in a few place. Isabelle was only sixteen pounds, but carrying her around for the entire time they were out shopping was tiring. Though he was no longer worried about working out anymore.

Looking at the microwave he saw that it was a little past three in the afternoon. That meant that they had been out of the house for three hours. All they had been doing was shopping the weeks food. How had it taken so long to get food?

He had known that shopping with a child, even one as young as Isabelle, would take longer than it normally did. Somehow though he hadn't thought that it would take three times longer than it normally it.

Thinking back on it Deeks knew that the main reason it had taken so long was because of how fussy the little girl was being. Something that probably had to do with the fact that Isabelle had barely gotten any sleep last night.

She spent most of the day being crying and clinging onto her Daddy. Even Monty had started to look tired as he tried to keep up with warning the man about the tears. Something that earned him more than a few dirty looks from the people around him. Not that he was paying attention to them.

They were almost out of food though so it wasn't as if he could go home and leave it until later. If someone had a problem with a crying child then they could deal with that. Babies cried sometimes. There was nothing anyone could do if they wanted to cry.

Now they were home and the seven month old was in her bassinet napping with Monty sleeping on the floor next to her. As much as he loved being with his daughter though he hoped she'd still be asleep after he put everything away so he could grab a nap himself.

Yawning widely he started to take everything out of the bags. He separated what he needed for dinner as he went not wanting to end up with freezing the meat he needed. Again. He really didn't want to think about how boring that sounded in his own mind.

Shaking his head he moved to put the cans away as he thought back to the conversation he had with his husband before he went to work. Callen had pointed out that he was probably going to be home that night, but Deeks knew better by now.

If his husband was there he was there. If not then he wasn't. He hadn't realized just how many nights were spent at work until he wasn't the one working. Now he understood why Michelle told him to not think about their time apart.

With a shake of his head Deeks let himself focus on his task. After the first time of dwelling in the images of what was going on with the team he knew better. All he was going to was scare himself or make himself upset over nothing. It was better to leave it alone.

There was nothing good that would come if he let his mind go in that direction. His husband had a job to do that took him away from the house a lot. There was nothing more than that. No matter what his imagination said.

Normally the man didn't have enough time to think about what was happening outside of the house let alone what his husband and the team were doing. When his mind was blank enough though it tended to wonder.

Sighing he finished putting the last of the food away before grabbing a knife and an onion. He had learned rather quickly that the best way to make sure that he wasn't scrabbling when it came to making food was to prep everything throughout the day.

He couldn't help but shake his head once more at himself. While he loved the life that he lead this was not what he had thought it would become. He wouldn't change it for the world, but he couldn't believe the man that he was.

So many things had changed for both the better and the worse. A part of him knew that things had ended up working out pretty well in the end. Yes, he had lost his hearing and his job in one fell swoop.

He could have died in that explosion and left his husband to raise their daughter alone. He could have never gotten out of the dark place he was in after he found out he lost his hearing. He could have walked away at any point in time and just given up the fight.

Things weren't what he thought. For the most part he was a completely different person than he had been. A rather dull and tired person, but he couldn't help but be proud of himself for everything that he was now and everything that he hoped he could be.

With a small smile he pushed the insecure thoughts out of his mind and started to work on cutting the onion. It was a small task, but he was doing it for the ones that he loved and that meant everything to him in the end.

Blinking back tears he pushed some of the onions out of the way and began to reach for the tomato when he saw a shadow out of the corner of his eye. For a moment he thought it was Callen, but something made his hair stand on end.

Tightening his hold on the knife he dropped to his knees as a bullet tore through the air. His hand swung out cutting into the shooters thigh causing them to start to fall giving Deeks enough time to stand up and knee them in the face knocking them out cold.

His heart felt as if it was about to pound out of his chest. He tried to think back on the day and see if anyone had been following him around while he was out with… Ocean blue eyes went wide as the world seemed to come to a stop.

He wanted to take off running up to Isabelle's room and get the little girl into his arms. He had to get her out of the house and away from whomever it was that was coming after them. Which was also a horrible idea no matter what his heart said.

While he only saw one person there could still be more. He had to be smart about this. It wasn't just his life on the line and he would be damned if he was going to let these bastards touch a single hair on his daughter's head.

Deeks began to move on an auto-pilot that he had thought he'd forgotten as he bent down and picked up the discarded gun. He didn't have time to check for other weapons but he knew that the guy was going to be out for awhile.

Moving in what he hoped was a quiet fashion he made his way to the living room. By the front door stood a man that looked like he was waiting for someone. Who Deeks didn't know and didn't really care about.

He started to lift his gun to shoot the guy down only to have his training remind him that there might be other people in the house. He couldn't risk them knowing that he was alive and was coming after them.

Tucking the gun into the back of his pants he kept his eyes locked on the man's back as he crept up behind him. When he was close enough he wrapped an arm around the man's throat making sure that his hold was strong as he began to fight back.

The man began to weaken after a few seconds and Deeks decided that he was done with their fight. Gripping the back of the man's head he bashed it into the door jam hard enough to knock him out fully.

Letting the man drop to the ground he kicked away his gun before turning to the stair case. He hoped that these were the only two in the house. That they had been after him or after Callen. As long as they weren't after Isabelle.

Pulling his gun out he got to the top of the stairs and peeked around the corner. His heart dropped when he saw two heavily armed men attempting to make their way into Isabelle's room. Almost as if they knew which one was hers.

Then he noticed that they hadn't gotten through the doorway. Mostly because Monty had decided that one of the man's legs would be a damn good chew toy. Even from where he was standing Deeks could see the pain and fear on the faces of the men.

He let himself smirk darkly as he spun around the corner and fired off two shots without flinching. He watched as both men fell to the floor with holes in their heads. Knowing neither of them were going to get up he started towards the room.

Deeks didn't get more than a step when he saw Monty look like he was about to attack. It took a second for the dog to understand that it was just his owner that was there, but once he did he moved out of the way of the man.

Tucking the gun away again he walked over the dead bodies and to his daughter's side. She was sitting up in her bassinet her mouth open wide as tears streamed down her red face. His heart felt as if it was breaking as he lifted her into his arms.

He had to remind himself not to hold on too tightly so he didn't hurt her as he made his way out of the house. There was a chance that more people were going to come and he wasn't going to let them be there for that.

He wished that there was more time to calm her down, but he couldn't let them stay in the house longer than they had to. Tucking Isabelle tightly against his chest he made his way out of the house knowing the dog would follow them.

As he walked Deeks felt as if he was jumping at everything and everybody. He had no idea what the hell was going on and who it was that he should distrustful of. A part of him wished that he had taken a better look at the people that had broken in, but it hadn't mattered at the time.

Walking through the town he made sure to take a few back roads that he knew. Every turn he made he made sure that no one was following them. He couldn't fight properly with his daughter in his arms and he sure as hell wasn't going to be putting her down anytime soon.

The man had no idea where he was going but before long he found himself standing out of the boat shed. He didn't even think as he walked through the door and found himself in the safety of the building.

A shaky breath escaped him as everything began to crush over him. He wanted nothing more than to fall onto the couch holding Isabelle and breakdown. He couldn't do that though. Not yet. Right now he needed to tell someone he was there.

He stood there for a second trying to figure out a way to get a hold of somebody without letting go of his daughter. Then the black screen flickered to life showing the smiling, yet concerned, faces of Eric and Nell.

"Hey, Deeks," Eric signed before his eyes narrowed, "Are you okay?"

Shaking his head he watched as they exchanged a look before Nell took off running. He let out the breath he was holding knowing that she was going to get the team and that it wouldn't take long for them to get there.

Closing his eyes he took a deep breath taking in the smell of his baby. He could feel himself calming down slightly as the realization came that she was safe. He had been able to get her out of the house and everything would be fine.

Once he felt as if he wasn't about to start crying he began to pace the room as he waited for Callen and the team to show up. He didn't know how long he had been moving about but when the door flew open and his husband marched in he stopped completely.

It took one look from the older man before he was pulled into a hug. He could feel Callen's lips moving against the top of his head as he tried to curl into his arms doing his best to get some comfort while not crushing his daughter.

Before he really liked the agent pulled away and gave him a grim look. Deeks didn't know what to make of the look at first, but then it hit him like a brick. Callen had known something was going on and hadn't told him.

Taking a step back he turned his back on the man and faced Kensi. She had been glaring at Callen, but tried to smile when she saw his attention on her. With a deep breath he shakily handed his daughter to the woman before spinning around and decking Callen.


	20. Chapter 20

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Sighing Callen dropped a bloody tissue onto the table. He could still feel his lip bleeding, but he didn't feel like trying to clean it up. It wasn't as if he didn't deserve the punch that he had gotten. Hell, he probably deserved more.

His team had tried over and over to tell him that Deeks needed to know what was happening. It might have turned out to be nothing, but he would have had some idea that someone might come after him and Isabelle.

Telling him was the smart thing to do. If he was on alert than he would have thought to look out for people following them or he would have paid close attention to his surrounding. Never let it be said that Callen was a smart person.

It was pure luck that he and Isabelle were safe and sound. Okay, that was a lie. Luck had nothing to do with it. In the end it was thanks to the fact that even without his hearing Deeks was a damn good fighter.

Something that Callen had somehow forgotten along the way. He had gotten so used to the fact that his husband was just that. He was a husband and a father and that was it. He wasn't a detective any longer.

It was stupid of him, he knew that, but after so long he had began to separate the two halves of his life. Deeks wasn't part of the team anymore so they didn't really talk about the cases that he was working on.

Part of that was because of how the younger man left the team. It had hurt him and he hadn't wanted to spend too much time dwelling on what he had lost. It was perfectly understandable and even now something that they did.

Work was work and home life was home life. It was just simpler for everyone if that's how they did this. At least that's what Callen had started to believe. Then he ran into a case that had the two worlds crashing together.

It was supposed to be a simple case. They go in, get the terrorists, stop their plan of destroying everything, and they go home. They'd done it so many times that they had it all down path. There should have been no problems.

From the very beginning though he had known something was amiss. It was going almost too perfectly. The terrorists were playing their parts perfectly. Like the well-oiled machine that they never should have been.

As they worked to gather enough evidence he ignored every voice in his head telling him that something was wrong. That he should pull his team out and reevaluate that situation before it blew up in their faces.

Yet he didn't do any of that. He still couldn't figure out why he had been so blissfully ignorant as everything around the case screamed at him to pull back. It wasn't the way a team leader was supposed to act. It wasn't the way he acted.

But he did do it. He walked himself right into a trap. It was a sad truth, but they had been lucky that the terrorists hadn't made the connection that he was an undercover agent. That would have been certain death. Not just for himself either.

No, one of the lower level people had seen him and Deeks taking Isabelle for a walk. It was that simple. He had been seen with his family by a person from a group that hadn't actually been on their radar at the time. That part was dumb luck.

The head of the organization had made it clear to him that he had the upper hand in their dealings. That if Callen did anything he disliked at any point in time then he was going to go after his family and kill them.

As soon as he knew that they terrorists knew who his family was he should have gotten them out of harms way. He should have gone home that very night and told his husband exactly what was going on. He didn't.

Every time he got home and sat next to his husband though he froze. He knew that the right thing to do would be to tell the man what was going on and let him prepare in case something did happen.

Then he really looked at the younger man. Even with the bags that were under his eyes he looked as if he was at peace. That he was finally not carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked so beautiful.

This was the man that Callen had seen hiding behind the ocean blue eyes. The one that couldn't come out because he always had to have his shield up and he had to protect everyone from everything at every moment in time.

Of course he loved that man as well. They were both part of the man that he was lucky enough to spend the rest of his life with. Deeks wasn't a cop though. He had been forced to walk away from that life and he was happy now.

He couldn't bring himself to ruin the life that Deeks was making for himself outside of police work. He loved his husband and his daughter with all of his heart. All he wanted to do was keep them safe from the world.

Callen had thought that he could close the case and that everything would be fine. Which was exactly what he did. The terrorists were arrested, America and its people were safe, and he hadn't had to tell Deeks what was going on. Win win.

He should have known that it was too good to be true. That even with the leader in jail that some of his people were still walking around. That he was still giving orders to those men. That his family was still in danger even with the man locked behind bars for the rest of his life.

"You're an idiot," Sam declared sitting across the table.

"Tell me something I don't know," Callen sighed looking at his partner.

"He'll forgive you."

"He decked me."

"He had a gun. Be glad he didn't just shoot you."

Snorting Callen shook his head at the older man. He knew that he was trying to make him feel better, but he didn't deserve that. With everything that he had done he was actually glad that Deeks hadn't just shot him.

"What were you thinking?" Sam questioned after a moment of silence.

"I wanted him to be happy," Callen stated knowing that it was a piss poor answer.

"And having people try to kill him and kidnap Isabelle makes him happy?"

"What? No! I know I messed up here, Sam."

"You could say that again."

"But I thought I was doing the right thing. For the first time since I met him he doesn't look like something is crushing him. He's free. How could I pull him back into all of this when he's free? He's not a cop anymore, Sam."

"Of course he's still a cop, G. He's never going to not be a cop and you're damn lucky he is or else he wouldn't have been able to do what he did. I get where you're coming from. I do. Michelle was like a brand new person when she stopped working, but that never changed the fact that she was trained and could kick the ass of anyone that came after us."

"Deeks isn't Michelle."

"No, he's not. You're lucky for that. Michelle would never forgive me if I put my children in harms way."

"I didn't think it would get that far!"

"You have to think that now. You think you were careful before? That's nothing compared to how you have to act now. It's not just yourself that you're protecting. It's not your husband who can actually protect himself. It's your little girl. Any threat to her, no matter how small, has to be taken seriously. For her sake."

Clenching his eyes shut Callen dropped his head to his chest trying to block out the words. The last thing he would ever do was put his daughter in harms way. She was the most important person in the world to him.

Above him he could hear Kensi and Deeks playing with Isabelle. Even downstairs he could hear her innocent laughter echoing. He could just imagine her smiling up at her Daddy and Aunt as they made silly faces.

He wanted to keep her safe from everything that was in the world. Throughout his life he had run ins with the most horrible people that could be imagined. He never wanted her to even catch a glimpse of that world. He'd do anything.

Without thinking he stood up and started up the stairs on unsteady legs. He needed to see his little girl for himself. He needed to hold her in his arms. He needed to know that his stupidity hadn't cost her life.

When he got upstairs he saw Isabelle sitting in Deeks lap. Her azure eyes were locked on the adults as they clapped their hands together. With every smack another of those beautiful laughs left her lips both breaking and healing his heart.

Taking a step forward he saw Kensi and Monty turn to look at him. The woman glared before turning back to Deeks who was now looking at him as well. He almost took a step back at the anger and pain in the eyes that he loved.

"Papa!" a soft voice suddenly called out.

Callen felt as if the world had stopped as he focused on his daughter. She was staring at him with a huge smile on her face unaware of what had happened that day. Unaware of just how close she had come to death because of him.

He lost the battle as tears began to stream down his face as he stumbled over to his family. Falling to his knees he wrapped his arms around both Isabelle and Deeks burying his face into the baby's lap and sobbing.

"I'm sorry," Callen repeated over and over holding onto them, "I'm sorry."


	21. Chapter 21

There's only going to be one more chapter! I hope you guys loved this story as much as I did. Thank you for the kind reviews and the love!

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Putting another box in the back of a moving van they had rented Deeks turned back to the place he'd been calling home. A part of him had actually thought that it was going to be the last place that he was going to live.

He had never really put much thought into where he lived. It was just a place. Most of the time it was a place that he was barely at. He hadn't had a real home as a kid and he had never put thought into getting one when he was an adult.

Then he moved in with Callen and he saw just what a house meant to the older man. That it could be a collection of everything that a person had and everything a person had ever dreamed of having. It was a home.

That was what the building had become. A place that was safe from all the bad guys that they had been working on putting away. A place to expand their little family. A place where they'd be able to raise their daughter.

When Mara was pregnant with Isabelle he had spent so much time daydreaming of what their life would be like. He'd imagine Callen chasing their daughter around the backyard or just himself carrying her upstairs after she fell asleep watching a movie.

If he was honest with himself sometimes he'd imagine what it would be like to have another child when Isabelle was a little older. Someone that she would love with all her heart. She'd be an amazing older sister. It would be like everything he saw in movies and tv shows.

The truth was that he didn't want to move out of the house. He loved it and he knew that it meant a lot to Callen. This had been their home when neither of them had thought they were ever going to have one.

It wasn't a matter of want anymore. They couldn't safely live in their home. Yes, the men that had broken in and tried to kill him were either dead or in jail, but that didn't meant more weren't going to come. Moving was their only option it keep their family safe.

It was more than that though. The house didn't hold the same level of security that it had before. It was no longer a house that they were raising their daughter in. It was the house that their daughter almost got kidnapped in.

Then, of course, there was the fact that Deeks had been forced to kill two kidnappers and knock out the other two. How could he not feel paranoid that something was going to happen to them after it already almost did?

Sighing Deeks slipped to the ground sitting on the sidewalk. From where he was he could see Kensi and Eric playing with Isabelle. All three of them had such big smiles on their lips. Like nothing had happened.

It had though and he couldn't forget. Every time he closed his eyes he saw what could have happened if he hadn't seen that shadow out of the corner of his eyes or if he had just brushed it off as being his husband.

He wasn't the detective that he used to be. The fact that he had won the fight was because of training that he no longer did and pure adrenaline. Even then the fact that his body was so sore told him everything that he needed to know.

Not wanting to think anymore he pulled his knees to his chest and dropped his head against them. Which made no real difference. If he was alone doing nothing than he was going to sit there over thinking every little thing.

He had no idea how long he had been sitting there, but his head jerked up when he felt a hand brush through his hair. Callen pulled his hand back making a placating motion as if he thought Deeks might attack him. The man wasn't far off.

Ever since that day in the boat shed things had been more than a little strained between them. The younger man knew that if they didn't have Isabelle Callen probably would have been staying with Sam while they tried to figure out a way to deal with everything.

At the moment in time Deeks wasn't completely sure that it was possible. He was still pissed about what happened, but in a way he could understand what had been going on in his husband's mind during the case.

What he couldn't get past was the complete lack of trust the older man had in him now that he had lost his hearing. They were supposed to be partners and it felt as if that had been thrown out the window without a second thought.

He just couldn't believe what the man had done to them. How his stupidity and need to be the protector had almost cost him everything. Those were not the actions that he expected from the man that he married.

It was back to the lone wolf crap that he used to pull. The only difference though was Deeks had always known that something was up. He had always been close by so he knew that there was something coming for them.

For the first time in awhile he realized just how removed he was from the team and the cases. He was a completely different person and they had no reason to tell him about anything that was going on. Somehow he thought they still would though

"Can I join you?" Callen signed looking more than a little awkward.

"Free country," Deeks replied watching the older man carefully.

For a moment it really did look as if the man was just going to turn around and go back inside. Then his shoulders slumped looking more defeated than he had ever seen before. That shouldn't have made his heart clench angrily.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am for putting you and Isabelle in danger like that," Callen signed after a moment of nothing.

"Then tell me how sorry you are for lying," Deeks shot back not holding back punches, "Or how sorry you are for not trusting me."

"I trust you!"

"Really? Your idea of trust is not telling me that someone threatened to kill your family?"

"I had it under control."

"They broke into our home! How is that 'under control'?"

Callen looked like he wanted to fight back but in an instant the fight washed out of him. Deeks watched him carefully as he stared at the ground taking a few deep breaths before finally looking up once more locking eyes with the man.

"I know," Callen started slowly, "I'm an idiot."

"No arguments here," Deeks responded faking calm, "Want to try something else?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing by protecting you."

"i might not be the man that I used to be, but I don't need that kind of protection. I'm deaf I'm not stupid."

"No, you're not. You don't need my protection at all really. You can take care of yourself and Isabelle."

"Then why did you lie?"

"Because it was good! We were good!"

Ocean blue eyes narrowed trying to figure out what the older man was talking about. Things didn't seem all that different from how they always were. It was a new normal for them yes, but it was their normal.

"Sunshine," Callen continued after taking a calming breath, "This is all I ever wanted. A family. You gave me everything that I could ever want. I wanted to protect that from this life. From the bombs and the guns and the death. I don't want Isabelle to ever see that. I don't want you to have to deal with that."

"That was my job," Deeks answered rolling his eyes slightly.

"I know. I should have remembered that. I wasn't thinking about you as Detective Marty Deeks, LAPD. I was thinking of you as my husband. I was thinking of you as one of the two people I love the most. I made a mistake forgetting that and I can never say I'm sorry enough for putting you both in danger."

Staring at the older man Deeks felt himself sigh. He was still mad at his husband. It was going to take a long time for him to move past what had happened, but he hated to see the man look so distraught.

Leaning forward he let their lips brush together before pulling away and standing it. It wasn't much of anything, but it was enough to bring a smile to Callen's lips as he made his way to his feet as well.

"I'm still mad," Deeks signed when they were looking at each other.

"But you're not going to kill me," Callen shrugged with a smile.

"I'm not going to kill you in your sleep. Make no promises during the day. Now get to work. We have a house to pack."


	22. Chapter 22

And here it is! The final chapter of this lovely story! Thank you guys for staying until the very end! I hope y'all enjoyed it! Until next time!

Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

* * *

Five years later

A soft smile played on Callen's lips as he pulled into the driveway of his house. Even with how sore and tired he was from work he couldn't help the peace that washed over him every time he pulled up to his home. It wasn't anything big, but it was perfect.

Climbing out of the car he looked at the yard reminding himself that he had promised Deeks that he would mow the yard the weekend before last. He knew he wasn't in that much trouble though. Trouble always came when his husband had to do it himself.

Shaking his head he started to walk through the yard picking of random toys. He had told Isabelle that she had to put her toys away if she didn't want them to be stolen. She listened just about as well has he did. At least that's what Deeks loved to joke.

He barely got half of the toys picked up before his hands were full. They weren't really big toys, but considering he was going to mow they could be very dangerous. He needed to recruit some people to help him.

Going to the front door he placed the toys on the porch looking for his keys. He didn't get very far before the door was opening and a very amused looking Deeks was smirking at him from the other side of the locked screen door.

He started to lift his hands to wave at the younger man when he started to laugh. His husband gave him a confused look before looking over his shoulder a small chuckle falling from his lips as well at the sight.

Their eighteen month old son was toddling over to the door a gummy smile on his lips his arms already up wanting his Papa to pick him up. It was such a beautiful sight that he thanked every God and Goddess he could think of for everyday.

Hearing a click he saw Deeks hand pull away from the lock before the screen door opened. The agent's smile widened as he walked through the doorway lifting the little boy into his arms letting the tiny body warm him.

Turning back to his husband Callen moved forward brushing the lips together. A content sigh fell from Deeks lips as he pulled back. The ocean blue eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled reminding Callen just how beautiful the man was.

A puff of warm air knocked him out of his thoughts. Looking down he saw the his son was fast sleep against his chest droll already dampening his shirt. Cocking his eyebrow he looked at his husband only to have him shake his head.

"Wesley missed you," Deeks signed before reaching out to brush the black curls from the boys face, "He refused to nap."

Nodding his head Callen started to take a step forward but Deeks stopped him. With a shake of his head the younger man took Wesley into his arms causing the boy to wake up. Grumpy green eyes looked up at them both.

"Sorry, kiddo," Callen muttered with a smile, "Daddy wants you awake."

Tears started to stream down his face causing Deeks to sigh and start a bouncing walk that they both knew all to well. The cries of the boy must have gotten somebody else's attention because a second later Isabelle was tearing through the house with their dog right on her tail.

Crouching down Callen opened his arms letting the six year old run into them. A happy laugh left his lips as he stood up swing her around before placing her back on her feet. He moved down again and started to ask her how her day was when D.D. took her place demanding attention.

The mutt looked enough like Monty that sometimes he forgot that they had to put him down two years ago. That had been a heartbreaking day for the family. He still couldn't decide whose cries broke his heart more. Isabelle or Deeks.

Monty had been eighteen though and had lived a full life. He missed the dog more than he thought he would, but he knew that he would okay now. That if there was a doggy heaven he was watching over them all just like he did when he was alive.

The weight of the dog was enough to knock him flat on his ass. He felt the breath knock out of him as not only the dog but his daughter crawled on top of him. His laughter joined theirs as they rolled around for a moment.

"So this is how I'm going to be greeted from now on?" Callen teased staring into his daughters azure eyes.

"Yup," Isabelle agreed smiling widely.

"Not even a hello first?"

Another giggle left her lips before she smacked a wet kiss on his cheek. With a smile of his own he wrapped his arms around her pulling her to him and started to pepper kisses over her face making her laugh louder.

"Papa, stop!" she somehow giggled and screamed at the same time.

"Not until I get my greeting," Callen replied back only to have tiny but strong hands push him away a second later.

Pulling back he watched as Isabelle took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. For the first time since he got home he was able to truly look at the little girl. It seemed as if it was an art day if the marker on her arms and clothes were anything to go by.

Callen looked up expecting to see his husband standing there watching like he always did. The space was empty. Instantly his heart picked up but before he could stand up to look for the younger man he walked in still holding Wesley.

His husband cocked an eyebrow at the small group before motioning with his head to the kitchen and leaving once more. It took him longer than he liked to admit to realize that it was time from them to eat dinner.

"Hello, Papa," Isabelle finally spoke trying to sound regal.

"Hello, Isabelle," Callen responded in the same tone, "How was your day?"

"Wesley cried a lot."

"So I heard. He skipped his nap."

"Yeah, Daddy said that too. I helped with lunch!"

"You did?"

"Yup! Daddy would tell me what to get and I'd get it since he only had one hand to work with."

"Is that so? I guess that means I can forgive you for forgetting to pick up the front yard."

"Oops."

"Yeah. Oops. After dinner. You and me cleaning up so I can mow. Deal?"

"Deal!"

Laughing he scooped the little girl up in his arms and started towards the kitchen. Deeks was already sitting at the table next to Wesley's highchair trying to get the boy to eat only to have him smack the spoon away.

The younger man looked tiredly up at Callen though the look was ruined when mush was thrown in his face. Knowing better than to laugh at his husband's misery by now he placed Isabelle down and motioned for Deeks to stand up.

"I've got this," Callen signed when Deeks looked at him skeptically.

"Thank you," Deeks nodded his head before getting up and moving to sign with Isabelle.

A moment later the two were sitting at the table with full plates. Isabelle was telling Callen what happened throughout the day while Deeks took a well deserved break from tearing his attention between the two children.

Callen was barely able to get half the food into Wesley's stomach before he started to fall asleep in his food. The boy jerked awake a second later his hands flailing and smacking his food right onto himself causing him to start crying once more.

The agent sighed at the sight. His son really wasn't having a good day. He started to stand up so he could clean Wesley off when he felt a hand on his back. Looking up he saw his husband smiling down at him before he moved and gathered the messy baby in his arms.

"Wesley needs a bath," Isabelle stated scrunching her nose up.

"That he does," Callen agreed nodding his head, "He's not having a good day, is he?"

"Nope."

Sitting at the table he half listened to his daughter talking and half listened to the water running upstairs. The timing was perfect because when the water turned off Isabelle announced he was down with her food.

"Why don't you go in the living room with D.D. and play for a bit before we go clean up the yard?" Callen suggested already on his feet, "I need to talk with Daddy."

"But we have to put away the food and dishes," the little girl argued knowing their routine well."

"After I talk to Daddy we'll do that. Then the yard."

"It's going to start getting dark."

"If it's dark we'll do it tomorrow. You're not getting out of cleaning up, young lady. Now go."

Isabelle nodded her head and climbed out of the chair. D.D. followed her out of the kitchen and into the living room where she started to talk to the dog about something. Knowing she was safe for a little bit he made his way upstairs and into Wesley's room.

Deeks was just putting the already sleeping little boy down when he walked in. Once he was down though they made their way back into the hallway not wanting to disturb the cranky baby and make him cry again.

"We need to talk," Callen signed staring into his husband's eyes.

"We already are," Deeks countered with a smirk, "But continue."

"Do you remember making me promise to tell you if anything came after our family again?"

Instantly Deeks back straightened and he looked like every bit of the detective he used to be. It had been so long since Callen had seen that he couldn't help but feel a little turned on by the sight of him.

"G, what happened?" Deeks questioned looking serious.

"They don't know about you directly," Callen answered calmly, "But they want me and mine dead and they have the resources."

Deeks hands carded through his hair at that. He looked worried about everything, but more than that he looked determined. Then he lifted his hands up once more and said exactly what Callen knew he was going to say.

"Let's hope for their sake they aren't stupid enough to try."


End file.
